Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have got an appointment tomorrow with a councillor. I hope this is going to make me more assertive. All my friends on here are helping me. Please still continue to help me. I have reported him stalking and harassing me and so far today he has been quiet. I wouldn't be surprised if he is following me still though. Hiding so I can't see him. I know what he is like. He is the cheater but is convinced because I don't want to see him, that I have someone else. I can honestly say I want to stay on my own. I don't need a man in my life. I've got all my children and my family. They don't know about the other stuff he made me do. I would be to ashamed to tell them. They only know of the cheating between him and one of my daughters. The rest I will keep to myself.
I don't think its wrong to be asking questions - we are on this end of it - we have no idea what is going on there - we want you to be safe - we are offering up suggestions and different ways of seeing it that maybe you don't see - its not to hurt you - its to help you.
How many times have any of us here been asked why - why aren't we doing something a certain way - why do we go back - why whatever - its not meant as mean or accusatory.
You aren't alone in this - even though you feel like you are. Get help. Please. There is only so much we can do from a screen. I know you are in the UK - go to rainn.org - search for groups in the area you live in - they will help you. Call a crisis line - they have resources internationally - they will help you - there are lists of them at the bottom of the screen.
I understand you don't feel strong. I understand that its scary - but believe me when I tell you this - until you take back control - until you take a stand and stick with it - you aren't going to be able to begin to heal - much less feel safe. I know its hard - none of this is easy - but we are here to support you. Take a stand - for yourself - for your new life.
xoxo
Personally, I have a baseball bat at my door and anybody banging on my door isn't getting in and I call the police. If they break in, they're getting a baseball bat to the head several times until I'm sure they're not getting back up.
There is pepper spray/mace that is used by Dog the Bounty Hunter that is in a strong heavy spray and sprays a long distance. That is what you carry with you to and from the car and you use it if he approaches you. You don't mess with this guy, because he has become a stalker.
Three different times the other year around the holidays I had people try to rob me in parking lots. I'm disabled in an electric scooter. They came up from behind, but I knew they were coming, I put my hand in my sweatshirt pocket to look like I had a gun in there and swung the scooter around fast and yelled in the deepest voice I could manage "BACK OFF NOW." I had one man so scared he took off running, and the others left. They didn't get a thing. It scared me bad, but I knew I couldn't let myself be a target because I was disabled in a mobility device.
If a person who is disabled in an electric scooter can fight back, you have no excuse for not fighting back too. Constantly saying you are weak, just keeps confirming to you that you are weak. Keep saying you are A STRONG, INVINCEABLE, INDEPENDENT WOMAN.
And if he followed me around in his car, his car wouldn't be in working condition too long, and he'd have to follow me around on a bicycle.
I think you reporting this is very couragous and that is the first step to stoping the repeated abuse and stalking.. your son certainly dosn't need this man around.. he dosn't need this example of a human being..
You are totally doing the right thing... keep up with the reporting whenever you see him.. do not let him in next time.. you just never know someone like this how they are going to react.. he dosn't seem right in the head... if he was he wouldn't be stalking you..
stay strong think of your son and your own saftey first.. don't let him come near either of you.
Keep talking to us all here.. we all really do care.