heartbroken .. no one should have to go through this especially alone. Have you considered counseling to help you begin the process of healing and moving on. And please do stop driving near where he lives, that is only making everything more difficult. There is no reason to compare yourself to "her" -- you are worthy in your own right and you are not the issue in his cheating, he and his decisions are. It takes time and it take help, but you can get through this! If I may ask, are you a member of a church? If so, have you shared your struggle there, they may be able to offer support. If not, is there a good church in your area you could approach. I know God and my church family helped me get through difficult times, when I couldn't do it on my own.

Thank you for reading my post and your words. Crying just thinking that someone is out there listening to me. Thank you again.

Heartbroken, sorry you are going though this. First, you can't compare yourself to her or anyone. It's like Facebook - everyone looks happy but that's just an imagine. You don't know if they are happy or now. All you know is that it's always all about him. It stinks that you put 33 years in and it ended this way. He cheated on you and you took him back which was amazing. Than he cheated again, which is he's selfish and doesn't reflect on you.

Just be you. Focus on you. Don't worry about them. Don't compare to her. Don't drive by them. Think he cheated on you, he's going to cheat on her too in time (if that makes you feel better).

It's going to be painful for a while. It helps to write it out. As Rowanda said go talk to someone. You have to work on your self esteem a little at a time.

Ignore him. The best way to get back at him is to be the best you. Be happy. Show you don't need him because you don't. Hang in there. Take it a minute at a time and it will get better if you focus on you.

Yes Heartbroken. Sorry for his loss. You are a beautiful person. Through
the pain you can love yourself.(It is reverse- it is his loss because you had
genuine love for this person).

You need to try to cycle out of it a moment at a time. It will take a push
on your part. It is a grieving process. At your age you are at an advantage because you CAN control your emotions by summonsing your higher self
to take control Yes it is done.Do I have to drive by his place, No. Can I love
myself through this , WHY is this happening To Me??.

The Universe is for you. The strongest force on this Earth supports you
and loves you.

This did not happen TO YOU.
As per the Universe it happened FOR YOU.
Some of us, me myself had to go through this- but the event happens FOR YOU not TO YOU. Grasp this.
Now you have to take this time and go deep into yourself( self nurture)
ask yourself why your mental is not quick to realize that if he is with another
then it frees you to be with your true destiny. Align yourself with these thoughts.
Peace
Loving Strength plowing you through to who you were always destined to be.
You are free to conquer and obtain this now, friend.

I am so sorry you are going through this. But you are NOT alone! I was married for 24 years. Was cheated on as well and thought we could 'stick it out'. Once the trust is broken - it can never be the same. You are an amazing woman - special and one of a kind. Never forget that! It hurts like hell right now - and the only way to get through to the other side - is unfortunately to let yourself just feel the pain. You will have good days and lots of bad days, but I promise you - the light at the end it coming ! I have been separated 18 months now. The first 6-8 months almost broke me - I could literally feel my heart racing in bed every night - I thought I might die. But one day - something will make you smile, make you laugh even. There will even come the day when you do not wake up thinking about him. Journal like crazy. Just because something needs to be said, doesn't mean it needs to be heard. I also re-affirmed my relationship with God. Once I was able to fully accept that God loves me and forgives me - my self esteem re-engaged and life improved and got better. Good luck on your journey. You have an amazing and wonderful like. Be thankful for all you have - and even better things will enter your life. I know it!.

I wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I read them everyday and a few times a day to get me through. I had to be medicated for the depression to help me get through this. I hate taking medication but had to so I could get to work. It hurts that he has companionship and I am left here to be lonely. Why is it the cheater gets to have someone and the one left behind just gets very deep loneliness. At my age I feel that I will never be with another man.

You are certainly not alone and there are a lot of us here thinking and caring about you. I'm glad you have seen a doctor and getting medication to help you through this hard time. Now perhaps counseling??? Loneliness can hurt but also can be remedied. And the funny thing is that we don't always need a man to take away the loneliness. There are many ways you can start dealing with that. God. Church. Volunteering at a local agency helping others. Reaching out to co-workers, asking to do lunch together. It is hard to rebuild a life after this type of hurt, but you can do it. You already have shown strength and determination, now put it to work for you! As you begin reaching out and getting involved again you will find your depression becomes something of the past. You can and will have an amazing future, Just keep moving forward, I have no doubt you can do this!

Is anyone out there. It has been a really bad day for me. Cried all day long non stop. My ex husband and his new girlfriend are on the Harley today as she holds him tight while riding on the back of the motorcycle. I am sure he is loving it since he can show off to the world this beautiful young thing he has. I don't know if I am going to make it through this. This is way too hard. I hate weekends. Too much time alone. I was always with him and never had any girlfriends too hang with. Even though we spent most of the weekends at home I still had company and now he is out and about since he can show off what he is with. I guess he never wanted to show off me since I am an old biddy that put weight on. I am praying that God gives me some kind of relief. Don't know how much more I can take.

How do you know what your ex was doing?

Just found out that my ex's girlfriend is someone that he worked with and now I don't know how long I was in the dark and him using me until he could get money together to leave me. This is way to hard and I just want relief from all of the pain and thoughts. I want the thoughts to stop.

What are your thoughts?

If your thoughts are centered on "woulda, coulda, shoulda" or wishing things were different, you are creating your own misery.

If you compare your life with your ex's in your thoughts, you are creating your own misery.

Do you really want your husband back, or are your thoughts filled with resentment?

Whatever happened is over and can't be changed, no matter how much you obsess over the situation.

The only way to move forward is to put the past behind you and look to your future. Determine what you can do to create a bright future. P.S. - a man in your life isn't a necessary requirement for a bright and happy future.