
Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

TSand
So my brain is pretty clear and says: She lied, she cheated and she spent money. Oh, heart, and by the way, she left and shows no signs of coming back. She doesn't want to go to counseling with you. In fact, she is not seeing either of your kids because they don't want to have anything to do with her and her crazy behavior right now. Wake up heart! See what is going on. Accept it. This is how it is. This is your life right now. There is nothing that you can do about it. Start getting your life back together and stop obsessing on her and your pain.
The heart answers: I miss her. I still love her. Despite all you say, if she wanted to come back I would take her in a second. I hurt. So much. All the time.
The heart answers: I miss her. I still love her. Despite all you say, if she wanted to come back I would take her in a second. I hurt. So much. All the time.
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It took me a couple weeks to shake the cobwebs and come to my senses. Once someone lies and cheats the trust is irreparably damaged, IMO. Once the foundation is cracked, the building is bound to fail. Damn that structural integrity!!!!
But its true. Its ok to hurt, i'd be disappointed in ya if you didnt. But it gets better, little by little. Sure, there will be some setbacks....but sometimes we have to take a step backwards to take two steps forward.
Be cool, and hang tough.
I understand you pain and we are all here for you if you need us!
Hugs!
Your head comes in with logical arguments, trying to look out for your overall well-being.
Your heart sulks in a corner and just plain ole makes you feel miserable.
Eventually, your heart will listen to your head, but it takes time. Time and distance.
I'm sure your head is telling you that you deserve better than that. That you don't need the increased risk of STDs and other things out there that can make you way more miserable than you are now.
I'm sure your head is telling you that, unless she's sorry, she's going to keep cheating on you. And you deserve better than being someone's second best.
And I'm sure your head is telling you that your heart is an idiot and wishes it would shut up. ;)
I'm so sorry for your pain. I wanted to say that the other side also hurts. I married my STBX from my head (he was handsome, smart, successful, funny) but my heart had huge reservations. We married anyway and for 18 years I've had a war raging between my head & heart. Now we are divorcing. My head says I'm an idiot. My heart knows that we did not have love. But it hurts all the same.
I've come to believe that true relationships need the head and the heart to be in sync. You cannot live on just one alone. Next time -- if there is a next time -- I will be in a relationship that offers happiness to both my head and heart. Maybe not 50-50, but enough for both to be truly happy.
Good luck and ((hugs))!
Head=no way, he's a jerk
Heart=he had some kind sweet tendencies
he is the father of our children, we have history, I married til death do us part.
But he has found joy and bliss elsewhere, so my internal conflict is for nothing.
I am considering therapy to make my head the winner of this battle, but don't know any counselors to go to.
My heart is with you right now. I am praying for some peace and relief for us all.
In my case, the abuse went on for years.... now I see that my angels got me out before I was dead.... I feel grateful even though the divorce is painful.
Some relationships can't be saved.. repeated infidelity, substance abuse etc. Only you can answer those questions....
trust your head that your heart will heal one day and you will find love again.
So sorry for your pain.