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He needs time. What does that really mean?

only2bestrong
only2bestrong
Been together on/off for 2.5 years. He has cheated, lied we would split but then would get back together. Doing good for the last 6 months or so, he got a new job travels alot gave up his apt moved in with me. He is normally gone T-F home on some weekends but is on call. Texted last week told me he was sorry he was working all the time but its what he has to do but we would have time soon. Last week we were supposed to go out of town for a mini vacation and my birthday. He said he couldn't go b/c he was on call which turned out to be a lie, he still says he worked but not sure. After big fight he tells me that he needs time things were said now he says I have pushed him farther away and no chance on us getting back together. NOt sure where all this came from. Very confused. Is he seeing someone else? Will he come back?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Go find someone else.
jeffstueber
jeffstueber
lying to you and saying he needs time is his way of pushing you away.... but he won't come right out and say it.... I've seen that kind of behavior in my STBX..... they wont' come right out and say "I'm done with you, goodbye" but they'll do little things to push you away... like this crap..

I"d be done with him.... and move on... tough to do, yes, but worth it in the long run.
patti22
patti22
He might.

I hope you're not there if he does.
deleted_user
deleted_user
WOW! From your post he seems to have a lot of time being away from you, it just doesn't add up. Where and what is he doing with all this time. Only in my opinion you have to ask him where you are at in his priorities, if you are loved and cared about he simply would be there to share and do life together, to laugh, make love, be friends, but thats not the picture your in, I would start checking both on him and maybe a way out.
luxx
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
The fact that he lied to you is a big red flag. What does "I need time" mean--I think it means that he's found someone and is trying to make up his mind about which of you to keep.

I think you need to let this guy go.

So very sorry.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ugh. I hate to sound harsh, but you deserve better than this. Maybe it would be good if he didn't come back. No one should have to put up with lying and cheating and being played. he also blames you...saying you pushed him away. This is not a real man. I am sorry for what you are going through!!!
Big hugs!!!
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
it could be a variety of things as to seeing someone, to hanging out with his boys to offering to work. If he is lying about working, meaning he said he had to work but you know he didn't work, one is left to believe really only one thing? he didn't want to spend the time with you for whatever reason. I am sorry.

it seems he is not giving you the time that one would if they wanted to be in a relationship with someone.
lycesq
lycesq
I have to agree with the other posts - it is time for you to move on. He lied to you about having to be on call on your birthday. If he can't put you first, well, he's not worth waiting for. I'm sorry you have gone through this.

Lynne