Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have been married for 19 years. Together 24. We almost split 5 years ago but we worked hard to make it better and did just that, and I thought we've been fine. Admit that we didn't go out and spend as much time together as we had been, and our physical relationship is lacking, but it never seemed to bother him. He never said anything. He never acted unhappy. Until 2 weeks ago when I started thinking something was off. So I started touching him more, going to the gym with him, happy hour, etc. After about a week of this, because he seemed unreceptive, I asked him what was bothering him and he said that he could tell I was trying but he just didn't have it in him anymore. And he left right then. It's been 2 weeks. He barely replies to texts or emails, really just when about the kids. They are teenagers, and we told them after he had been gone for a week that we are separating. It was terrible. I feel like we didn't talk about it at all, we didn't try, he blindsided me. He claimed there was nobody else, that he was just unhappy, but then a couple of days ago when I asked he did say that he will 'probably be dating someone, yes'. So clearly he had her in the wings. He said something like once he started to feel unhappy in our relationship that it opened him up to seeing other options. I'm so hurt and embarrassed and confused....and angry. How could he do this? After 19 years of marriage to just spring this on me? And not talk about it at all or even try? I haven't worked in 15 years, haven't been alone since just after college. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Emotionally detached from you and the marriage.
They had wanted out for awhile and waited for the
right someone To come along then they are done
and gone with little to No remorse or concern for
you. Mine had shame and guilt it still did not stop
him Or change his path.
I suggest going to therapy and joining a divorce
Care group. The grieving is pretty intense at the
Beginning. I cried for 4 months after he left and
The marriage had been unhealthy for the last 12
years.
I am sorry for all your hurt and pain, let yourself
Grieve and get a good lawyer to watch your back.
You will need to have someone that has your best
interest at heart.
My ex received his financial consequences. Thats all I
could do to him. He wanted out badly To start his new
life. I went total no contact and moved out Of town after
the divorce. It took me a long time to Detach post divorce.
We had no children and we were married for 30 years.
To me divorce is something to get thru with any sanity
Left. Its a time of overwhelm and overload with all the
Financial and legal decisions to be made. As my lawyer
Said this is your future and your retirement. I was in no
Condition to deal with my Ex. I kept it as mature as possible
Otherwise it is too volatile with a third party involved.
Try to keep it limited no contact with your stbx, talk about
the Business at hand only. No personal chit chat or questions.
The Time for that is long over once the divorce is declared.
He is not Your buddy. Use text or email try to not talk on the
phone. We Used lawyers during the financial stages.
Some use two lawyers, some one, some divorce/mediator
lawyer, Some do it themselves. We used joint funds to pay
for lawyers not Everyone does it that way. He had wanted to
do it ourselves i said Forget it i did not trust him at all to be fair
or honest and i was right. He fought me the whole way thru
the divorce, HUGS
My ex did the exact same thing.
So sorry. We are all here for you.
Get a lawyer, LISTEN to your lawyer.
Protect yourself.
Know what you want out of the divorce, the most important things, and keep a lazer focus on them - let the other stuff go.
Detached. Civil.
Good luck
It's so painful it rips you apart, I know. It gets better, and you start feeling you own yourself again. I have days that are hard, and seeing him still hurts. I'm angry but the more I don't see him the best. I never saw it coming, I had no clue things were bad that is what hurts the most. We even went to therapy. because I begged him too. We went for 2 months - he held my hands and said he had hope for our marriage... all this while he was fucking other woman. you will be fine just because there is no other option available. There will be days where you feel you own the world and that is very powerful and there are other days where you cry nonstop and you wished things were like before. I does get better. 4 months after he left home I feel much better... like I said I can't wait for the day where I see him and I don't feel anything. Han in there, this is a hell of a ride, but there are no options, it has to be like that. You will be fine, I will be fine.
Therapy helps a lot.