Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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detroitfan 01/12/2011

So today was an off day due to weather for my H. Never happens. He takes care of business at his apartment and comes here. Seems so happy. Makes himself lunch. As we know he doesn't want to "try" with our marriage but still wants our home/kids/friends. I told him today when he was not receptive to my offer to spend time together Sat. at a concert with FREE awesome tix that if he can't give one inch toward our relationship than things will have to change. He says "OH Really?" I say yes, that am trying. He says "fine, I will pick the kids up and take them to my apt." I say "well if that is what you want but that there is a lot on the line and that everything is a process." That I know he was hurt. I am trying...etc... He basically says he doesn't think he will come back. I say I am not asking for anything now but to have him understand what I am saying.

THEN...

Our friends invited us for dinner, do you still want to go??? He says yes. We have a good time, for 5 hours. Touches my leg (casually) on the couch for a good deal of time. He KNOWS this is not how it will be forever. Please pray for us. Please let this sink in to him!!! OMG! I can't believe this is my life. It has to get better. Even my friends who support me think this is wacky. My grandmother thinks this is the weirdest separation in the world. I hate my life right now. Love my family and friends and you all too though.

deleted_user 01/12/2011

I too am trying to figure out what mine is thinking. He told me yesterday he has been with a couple of girls, won't "be" with anyone, then tells me that I am in his heart and we are very very close. Still he doesn't see why I have a problem being his best friend! He doesn't get that it hurts me so much. I am not sure either what your H is thinking. It's like he wants to be in both worlds at the same time. Come to the house and be the family man when he wants then go to his apartment and do whatever it is that he does. Touching your leg etc. really sends mixed messages. It's like he is showing that you are still his, but then he won't go to a concert with you. Seems he is really not sure what he wants- but he doesn't want to let you go just yet. I would try to make it clear to him that you are being hurt by this because it is all very confusing.

Bobby5000 01/12/2011

Hey, I'm a man and I don't get this.

Obviously you have to tell him that you two can be cordial in the future, for the primary purpose of coordinating parenting, but that it cannot be the same. You seem to be handling a difficult situation very well and setting forth some reasonable limits.

new2this2 01/12/2011

It won't get better if you allow it to stay the same. You're the only one who can make it better. If you two want different types of relationships and you make sure he gets the kind he wants, how are you going to ever be happy?

deleted_user 01/13/2011

I know you love him but change the pattern you are only hurting yourself. Why would he come back home. He has it made you catering to him that is crazy. You have showed him you are willing to change. Now close the door and let him think. Give him time to see what he is missing.

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