That's so funny that you say that. All I want now out of this divorce is Richard to feel like shit, cry, become depressed, call me and beg my forgiveness. Not gonna' happen - ever.

(((((rose77)))).........I feel exactly the same way today. I want this man to feel PAIN...not just pain - but AGONY. I want to know that his heart is breaking. I want him to know how badly he fucked up. And maybe he is...but I will never know. And you may not either. I don't know why.......knowig he is hurting would be comforting to me - but that's where i am today. Not good.

You may never get your wishes shown to you. However, I can guarantee you that he will die a lonely old man. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

In the end he only cheats himself.

Rose, my husband is a sex addict and will not admit it. Three years ago, he came to me and told me that he had been unfaithful with prostitutes and a stripper, and this was after a 20-year porn/masturbation addiction, chatting with women online, and phone sex. I have stayed in the marriage because he said he wanted to work things out and be with me, that I was the one he really wanted, with a sexual relationship that also had emotion.

Three years later, I question his ability to have an emotional relationship at all. I believe that to do the things that your husband and my husband have done, they have to just have lacked the ability to feel empathy, to care that they were hurting us. I have seen this behavior time and time again with my husband, and while he has said "I'm sorry" a few times with his mouth, I question whether he's meant it. I think he only cares about himself. Even me telling him that I wanted to have a stronger emotional relationship only resulted in him talking to me more about his feelings, which is emotionally draining. He never cares, or has cared, about how I feel, except when we were dating, and he's pretty much said that that was just an act.

I know how you feel--I just want him to have some awakening and say, "Oh my gosh, how could I have done this to you? You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I want you back? How could I have screwed this up so badly?" Or something to that effect! ; )

I think that men who have a sex addiction are often cold and calculating and heartless. My husband, I believe, also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and perhaps that's what enabled him to be a sex addict in the first place. I don't know. I'm sorry you're hurting.

You can't have a broken heart if you don't have a heart in the first place.

Thanks for the comments. You are right in what you said BirkenstockBabe. He never cared enough to stop. As my therapist says all he is looking for is his next fix, which is what she says he is doing when he does his chatting and what other activities he does. He is emotionally involved with these women who fill this void he has, and of cause his addiction, so he has no emotion left over for anything else. So of cause he thinks he is doing nothing wrong because he does not really get that what he is doing is wrong. Or maybe he just has to explain it to himself that it is nothing, to feel better about him self. Either way I want him to suffer and hurt.

let him carry the burdens of the hurt he has caused you, the shame of what he has done, the guilt of his lies...all of his burdens will eventually weigh him down, let go of them...let him carry them and allow yourself to feel a sense of freedom that it brings by letting go. Best wishes to you...I hate those days!

I know what you mean....