Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So... I used to come on this support group a lot when my ex and I broke up 2 yrs ago. I stayed around for about a yr or so. Thought I'd drop in and say hello! It's been a while.
The story is my x, who we can call "M".... were together for 4 yrs. We were both Marines. We moved in together when he got out of the service. Then M became emotionally abusive. If we weren't arguing, he was very sweet and funny. Other than that it was non stop yelling at me and putting me down, following me around the house to continue yelling, even through the bathroom door. Even would wake me up at 4 am and turn the lights on to scream at me. Then would threaten to kill himself if I didn't do as he said. And then would bad mouth me to his mom and say that I made up all his "crazy" behaviors and he never tried to kill himself or yell at me, etc. anyways, I have chronic pain, and M left me 2 yrs ago at a time when I was having trouble caring for my self. M left me pretty much exactly this month.
I had severe trouble trusting anyone again. And had to go to Va hospital to get counseling for 8 months afterwards. Not because of the relationship, but because of some abuse that happened as a female in the military. So what M did to me, further damaged me. After counseling, I started healing felt it was ok to trust someone. Then I hung out with this guy name "T" in Jan 2011 and told him what happened to me in the service, and after he got me in bed, he dumped me.
I'm met a new guy in June who is a devoted Christian his name is "J". And we started dating. J doesn't believe in premarital sex and wants to save it for marriage, I agreed. He is very sweet, picks me up in his car, we read the Bible together, go swimming in the ocean, and he tries to understand my chronic pain. But.... somehow, I still feel like I'm waiting for him to walk out on me or dump me. I love life again after counseling, but why do I feel like I still have trust issues?
The story is my x, who we can call "M".... were together for 4 yrs. We were both Marines. We moved in together when he got out of the service. Then M became emotionally abusive. If we weren't arguing, he was very sweet and funny. Other than that it was non stop yelling at me and putting me down, following me around the house to continue yelling, even through the bathroom door. Even would wake me up at 4 am and turn the lights on to scream at me. Then would threaten to kill himself if I didn't do as he said. And then would bad mouth me to his mom and say that I made up all his "crazy" behaviors and he never tried to kill himself or yell at me, etc. anyways, I have chronic pain, and M left me 2 yrs ago at a time when I was having trouble caring for my self. M left me pretty much exactly this month.
I had severe trouble trusting anyone again. And had to go to Va hospital to get counseling for 8 months afterwards. Not because of the relationship, but because of some abuse that happened as a female in the military. So what M did to me, further damaged me. After counseling, I started healing felt it was ok to trust someone. Then I hung out with this guy name "T" in Jan 2011 and told him what happened to me in the service, and after he got me in bed, he dumped me.
I'm met a new guy in June who is a devoted Christian his name is "J". And we started dating. J doesn't believe in premarital sex and wants to save it for marriage, I agreed. He is very sweet, picks me up in his car, we read the Bible together, go swimming in the ocean, and he tries to understand my chronic pain. But.... somehow, I still feel like I'm waiting for him to walk out on me or dump me. I love life again after counseling, but why do I feel like I still have trust issues?
Cherie
I'm thinking of telling him SOMETHING. At least admitting that I have trust issues. idk...
Should I bother telling him the other things? Or do you think he will dump me like T did (after I opened up)?
do it the easy way. put your heart in the right place and fly by the seat of your pants.
Welcome Back by the way. I remember you from before and it is good to hear from you again.
Early on in my marriage I had a similar experience with my husband. There was something form my past that I was struggling with and I really needed to talk to someone, but felt that I could not share it with him. I went to see a counselor and talked myself through it. Later when I felt comfortable I shared it with my husband as well.
Trust comes with time and experience. You have reasons not to trust someone. As time passes you will trust again. It may not happen as soon as you would like but it will happen, just be patient. You'll get there.
Thank you for the encouragement, ThenAgain. And thanks for sharing your story. It's good to know I'm not alone. :)