I know! I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT! The very someone who knows you more than anyone...the one you had a child with, the one yo made plans for all the tomorrows the one that promised before God for better or for worse...end up giving the WORST and becoming the stranger with the biggest weapons...you vulnerablilities. Sad indeed.

Funny thing, they don't see themselves as being "dark." They see themselves as the victims. They convince themselves and those who will buy into it.

And it is oh so much about the money.. ."their money".....

We so often hurt the ones we love and not mean to do it. I think it's because you are the closest person and are taken for granted. We tend not to look at the other as a real person that has feelings. We tend to think that it doesn't matter of we hurt the one we love because they will always be there.

Why is it that they make everything seem like it is your fault. They pick apart your personality and bring up every one of your worst traits and make some up if they can't find enough!

I agree Heave. During our marriage counseling sessions, he would just make complaint upon complaint on me until I was completely overwhelmed. It was a very cruel thing to do. But, as I have read, he needed to do that to justify his decision to leave me.

To KRM, yes I was very guilty of taking my exH for granted. It is something that I do regret.

YMMV

sometimes i feels like the bad people out weigh the good.
Sometimes I wonder if i'll ever believe the words, "i love you" ever again.

aw, at 27? I'm sure you will. Me? I may never HEAR them again, so I won't have to worry about whether to believe 'em or not

It's as if they don't care at all. To hell with everyone as long as they are happy. Think back to every guy/girl you first started to date. You had butterflies in your stomach. They want that every day and it not practical when you have a family, sports and all that goes with real life. You have trust and never expect them to sneak around, lie and cheat.

I have to question if this person who was suppose to love me so much had any clue what real love is. Looking back, it is easy to see that if he had really loved me, he never would have been able to do the things he did. I am still waiting to be loved.

I understand what you mean Heavetoo. I have never been so disappointed in a person than I have by my husband. And I have never been so dumbfounded by the insanity of human behavior as I have of his. Never in a million years would I have expected the man I fell in love with to have been the way he is. I have never been so shocked in my life. When I look at his behavior...when my family looks at his behavior...when counselors and therapists look at his behavior, all any of us can say is WTF?!

I'd have to play devils advocate on this one and say that most don't set out to hurt their significant other. It's a slow desensitivity. Something happens and they start to pull away and then it spirals from there.

sockfuzz, I completely agree with you. I think by the time the bomb drops, the "significant other" has emotionally detached and dealt with things..and we are just starting the journey. I also think denial comes in many forms...an oblivious denail where they simply dont' get it and a force denial where they do get it, but forcibly stick their heads in the sand (or in my husband's case, up his ass) to avoid reality. My issues dont come from the mistakes made, but rather in how my husband chose to deal with those mistakes. Mistakes are expected...true character is shown in how one deals with them. Just my thoughts..

#13, YES! that's it