Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ll47ll 03/29/2009

Hi friends,
I am at a point of despair once again in my life, breakdown and crying, stress and depression... maybe all contributing to a heartache, or is it the heartache contributing to my problems? I have tried keeping my head up, but lately it just hit me that the guy I have been seeing isn't as much into me as I am into him... due to me not having a job right now I'm sure, but more likely it is my NO sex policy. Am I confused and at this all wrong? Am I supposed to have sex with a guy for him to be that into me? Does the commitment start then? I know I could fall easily for this guy, but I just don't know if I should allow myself to.

Need lots of hugs,

Lee

deleted_user 04/15/2009

Who said anything about babies? Pregnancy doesn't result from sex every single time.

ll47ll 04/15/2009

Thanks Jaken, I respect that. I guess I am insecure, just flashbacks of X doing it all the time!

Soon, we are both responsible people and cannot take these kind of chances. he is also in public administration, not a good position if I was pregnant. Also I had so much judgement from people over my divorce, I cannot handle it again with an unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock.

Lee

deleted_user 04/15/2009

use a condom, or two, or have him pull out, with a condom on.

This is sex, not rocket science.

deleted_user 04/15/2009

What your statement says to me is that you are fishing for an excuse because the reason you haven't slept with him is more caused by a root fear of being judged by others.

ll47ll 04/15/2009

I love your passion for sex!

He is cute AND smart, you think he would have thought of that? LOL I"m kidding, we both hate condoms!

deleted_user 04/15/2009

It's not about a passion for sex, it's about calling BS when I see it.

I see an excuse.

-public administration
-hate of condoms

I am waiting for the next one.

I go back to what I said in #20. I think this is more about you being scared of being judged by anyone.

Oh, and newsflash, birth control does not ALWAYS work.

ll47ll 04/15/2009

I did just want to date and hang out, not ready to get serious, but what do you do with a great guy then? Can't help but start falling for him. I just would rather be in a committed loving relationship before getting that intimate.

deleted_user 04/15/2009

...because of your fear of being judged...

ll47ll 04/15/2009

And that's BS? I am scared of being judged, but I still want to be in a committed relationship. Sex is so much better with someone you love.

deleted_user 04/15/2009

No, it isn't BS. But you made excuses before saying it. You could have cut out the BS, and just said it

ll47ll 04/15/2009

Sorry Soon, if I suck this much at talking to you guys about it, forget talking to him about it then...

deleted_user 04/15/2009

I just think you need to find a happy medium that both of you can live with, thats all.

deleted_user 04/15/2009

Simple solution.

Sleep with Soon.
Soon, you sleep back.
Everyone is happy.
Why am I here again?
Ooops wrong thread.

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