Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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giving up on love?

sunsets1386
sunsets1386
Maybe some people are just not capable of love. I've been in 4 serious relationships, took 5 years from ages 18-22 to protect my heart, never letting anyone to close. I finally let my walls down, for someone I thought was my soul mate. I trusted him and saw a future. As time went on, his true colors began to show and it wasn't pretty. It ended a week ago, very badly and I feel unable to listen to my friends and family's support, telling me I deserve better... they didn't really know our relationship I tell myself. I miss everything abt him, even the bad. I know It sounds crazy but as wrong as it may have been I feel like he was my soul mate and now nothing matters or seems right. I've lost all my self.esteem. he doesn't want me. What did I do to deserve this pain... will. It ever cease. I refuse to repeat my moms dependent cycle on an unhealthy man, it caused us so much pain... I feel like I'm drowning.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please don't lose your esteem in this. You are quite aware of the patterns with yourself and from observing your mom. Not always sure about the "soul mate" feelings as that implies there is only one person that's right for you. I think we can find many approximations that can be close to what we need. And it may sound trite but as time passes it will get better. When I got divorced 6 years ago, I thought I'd NEVER be in love again or capable of it, but it did happen. Never say never.
adairjm
adairjm
I just came off of a toxic relationship and it still hurts after 5 weeks. It was the best followed by the worst.

You will get over the pain. You're just grieving and the pain is part of the process. Soon you'll realize the "true colors" you talk about were ones you could not have lived with long term.

Use the time now to get your self esteem back. It will make for a better romance in the future.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was in a bad relationship for a long time. I found that once I could be myself, I saw all that was wrong and have found myself again. Going forward, I have decided that I want to be friends first, and move forward from there. Expect that this will end in a much healthier relationship.
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
Don't ever give up on love. I married young and I tried to make it work and found that you can't make someone love you. It ended after 10 years and it became dangerous and abusive. read my Profile, my journal entries of Dec. 27,2008 and Jan. 3, 2009, they tell my story. I remarried and I have been blessed with the wife I have now. My ex is dying with cancer in an ICU and 2 weeks ago, we finally made peace between us. I held nothing against her but, she hated me. You are young and have plenty of time. Soul mates do not physically and verbally abuse their mates. It doesn't take much of am man to physically abuse a woman. Just my thoughts. Hope you get to feeling better about all of this and find TRUE happiness.
lycesq
lycesq
Sunset- I wouldn't give up. I'm 60 and have had many failed relatonship (just one marriage but that was long term and ultimately, a big mistake). I still hope someday I meet that person.

Lynne
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