Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Getting divorced

angie73
angie73
I'm new to this group. My husband and I got married in July and by September we were going to marriage counseling. He decided we didn't need it and said if I went on my own he would consider it grounds for divorce. I moved out in October and we still were trying to make it work. Last Friday he called me and said that we need to move forward with divorce because I don't text or call him enough. I know that it's the right thing but it is so hard. I have such a deep sadness, I keep bursting into tears, I keep checking his Facebook- he Un-friended me. I want to get on with the divorce so I don't hold onto an invisible thread that he might become the person I wanted him to be. I need to get on with the grieving process.
tammib
tammib
He is a total nut job and playing head games. He is telling you that he wants more of you while telling you that he wants nothing to do with you. Which is it? In my experience, people who are truly done with a relationship don't resort to such tactics. It must be a miserable feeling for him to think that he has to scare you into loving him. Threatening divorce to dissuade therapy is an obvious and pathetic attempt at control. I suspect he fears being exposed and therefore doesn't want either of you to seek therapy. He is punishing you for the void within his sole that you did not create and cannot fix. Insane! Kick him to the curb!

Tammi
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
Wow. married in July and by Sept. you were in marriage counseling?
I don't want to seem harsh but, it sounds to me there were issues before this marriage happened, that were not resolved.

If he truly loved you and wanted this marriage to work, he would have done the counseling and anything else to save the marriage.

He sounds, from what you stated, that he is very insecure and this may be one of the factors in him wanting to go forward with the divorce. It appears that you have done what you could to try and make this marriage work but, it takes two dedicated people to overcome the obstacles that occur in marriage. He doesn't appear to be that dedicated and simply wants out.

Divorce is always tough and in many cases in very heart rending. I wish you the best and pray for your happiness in the future.
Johnzilla
Johnzilla
With a marriage so short, you may be able to get it annulled. Here in California, if you're married less than five years, no real estate and some other qualifications, you can do an annulment instead of having to go thru the whole divorce proceedings.

Either way, best of luck to you. I have to agree with the comments above about your spouse having insecurity issues leading him to his actions. It's not fun. Keep your head up!
angie73
angie73
He's bipolar and we were going to be living with his mother, in her house but it was just too unbearable. I wanted to get our own place but he wanted to stay with his mom because she takes care of him. It's like he never grew up. That and his anger issues and the dysfunction and verbal abuse between him and his mother. Given all of our problems it still hurts so bad now that we decided to go through with the divorce. But I know it's for the best but that doesn't take away the pain.
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