Sorry for your pain. Im in the same boat. Been married for 15 years together for 20 and a man she met about three months ago has totally taken over my place in her heart. Its just unbelievable. Im sure one day we will see that werw better off without them but its a struggle right now.

Yes it is a very big struggle. She gave up so much for so little. I just can't understand it. I'm sure in time I will be able to move on. But she was such a wonderful happy woman, to see her go back to such a mean angryand controlling guy is heartbreaking.

I am not here to judge anyone that is your own job and the almightys. I will say what we perceive as love is not what others feel. You look deep inside and see what it really was you were giving. Material possessions only bring happiness for short periods of time and they never last and can never relace the love of a heart and soul. I wish all luck on your journeys of healing, but do know only you can learn and make yourself better.

You said this other guy was an ex-boyfriend? What makes you say he's abusive?

That's awful man, I'm in a similar boat so I know the pain. Don't listen to the people here saying you didn't do enough or didn't give her what she really wanted. If what you say is true then it's her loss not yours but I know that doesn't make it hurt any less. You deserve better than that and I hope you find it.

Sorry for your pain. But I'm writing as someone that's currently very unhappy in a relationship with a highly educated, highly successful man who is sleeping downstairs in our library because we don't sleep together anymore. In our giant, lovely, storybook home. Sometimes that doesn't cut it. My husband has always been demonstrative of his love through material things, gifts, flowers, jewelry--when all I've ever asked him for was to lose weight and take care of himself and watch a movie with me. Come out for a hike. Go walk downtown together and grab a new book.
What was your love life like? Not to press you, but there is so rarely ever a "divorce totally out of left field" were there prior conversations or point of contention? Did she want something more from you...or is she a person that's drawn to dysfunction and you were too high-functioning for her? Because THAT is a thing! Absolutely. Some people need the moral superiority of being the "good one" in a relationship with a person they deem to be a loser so that they can question less about their own flailings in life. Do you think she resented your success and didn't feel she was your equal? Just throwing it out there. Sorry for your pain, man. Heartbreak is brutal.

Breakups are tough Let yourself grieve your
losses. Go to therapy and/or Divorce care.org
They are a great support group for Grieving.

My ex left me and i gave him everything i
Had to give. I tried and tried some more he
Was checked out and long gone emotionally.

There was no coming back from that plus He
Had found a GF. Most of us here are hurting Just
trying to do the best we can. Wether we Are rich
or poor.

Actually my marriage was Really good when we
were poor and struggling we worked as a team
And life was good.

Hugs and welcome to the club nobody wants
To belong to.

Scripter I don't feel that anyone was saying that he didn't do enough for her. I feel the things that were said, were said to make him think about the Love language he speaks and maybe the language she speaks. It is terrible that she left and apparently didn't even try to work things out, but it ALWAYS take two to tango. No one person is at fault for a break up, unless its abuse. We all played parts in the way things go. In most cases the other person(the one breaking the relationship up) is to blame and carries the most fault, but no one person is completely without fault.
I also know how it feels to be taken advantage of and used in relationships as I have been there many times myself. Looking back on them I could have made changes to make it better, or I could have been the one to walk away too, but I was dedicated and did what I could to make it work even though it didn't. The major change I see looking back on my life and past relationships is that I needed to stand up for myself and voice my opinion instead of stay silent and doing what I though everyone wanted me too. I lost my identity and it took years to regain that.

I wish you all luck!