My stbx is active duty Army. Gone 2009, home 2010 and gone 2011. 2009-2010 EA happened, he emotionally abandoned me and his children which lead us to the D word. Always working, always busy, never had time for me or the kids. He became that man, lives and breathes Army, nothing else matters. I've told him a million times that the kids needed a father, that they miss him but he always says he was working hard and making sacrifices to provide for the family. I begged him to find some balance between work and family but work always came first and of course OW. He is always throwing on my face that he is working but guess what I've also always work, I have always help financially - he haven't been the sole bread winner in this family. I'm a term contract that is about to expired so for the 1st time I depend on him and it sucks cause he reminded me that I needed him for the benefits I get even though it is the first time that I have to depend on him. That really pisses me off!!!!!!!
When he returns he wants the kids to live with him while I stand on my own to feet after the D, while I get a job. He wants to spend time with the kids, he wants to mend the last few years that he havent been there for them, he says that he'll find the time to spent time with them, he didnt have time before but now he is going to find time??? I've been taking care of the kids, raising them, been a "single" mom, doing everything for them, I've seen them crying full of dissapointment and now he wants to take care of the kids???
He broke this family apart, he made that decision, it was his choice and he gets to walk away with the kids to mend their relationship??!!!!! Hell to the no!!!!!!
He wants to see them all the time not just sometimes, well he don't get to, you get to be in your kids lifes when you are married, when you are divorce you need to work a little bit harder to be in their lives. Plus I don't want another woman raising my children, that is my job - then he brings up the issue of the day I get a new bf if he is going to help me raise his children - the day I get involved in a serious relationship damn right he is going to help me raise my children - he decided to walk away, he decided to leave and don't raise our children together, that was his choice.
I'm not interfering in his relationship with the kids, he wants to call them he is free to call, he wants to see them he is free to see them, I would never take that away from him but he don't get to live with them, see them everyday, enjoy and savor every moment.
He wants the opportunity to have them living with him - I told him no - he wants to spend more time with them then he needs to figure it out, is not my job anymore to make his life easier.
I'm so furious that he thinks he can just waltz in and asked me if the kids can leave with him. The kids wll probably like the idea cause dad is the "fun" dad, when they see him is always to have fun,
I cried but not of sadness, I cried cause I was so upset - he was upset cause I told him he has been a lousy father for the past few years he said I didnt appreciate his hard work which I did and always said thank you but I also told them the truth - money is important but is not everything and the kids needed and wanted their father.
Sorry for the ranting I just really needed to vent.