Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
We have been officially divorced since the end of October. He has been living in the basement since last March. It has a mini kitchen, full bath, laundry and bedroom. So, we do see each other almost daily, we are still civil. After 26 years I am heart broken that he no longer wanted to be married, and tells me he has no intentions of ever getting married again, and going out to the bars ..well he said he is too old for that scene (51) , but as I notice he does not come home fri, Sat nights and shows up late Sunday with a Hi, hows it going? I cant belive he thinks I am that stupid. My oldest daughter asked where he was one night, when she came over to visit. he took her out the next day for lunch and told her he had a girlfriend. then went on to say , well not a girlfriend a friend ...with benifits....oh lord. Some friend, seems like a relationship to me if you are staying there 2-3 nights a week. He offered for her to meet this woman, who has 2 kids in high school.
This has hit me like a ton of bricks. How can he jump out of a 26 year marriage and into another semi relationship, then come back and want to talk about his day at work and how things are going....It is too hard for me, I know we are divorced and out living situation is awkward due to finances right now, our house goes up for sale soon and he will be moving into a trailer or something... I want to yell, scream and tell him how he broke me, I am crushed.
He was my best friend, and I know I still mean something to him, because he constantly tells me he is trying hard not to hurt me and do right, money wise and sharing stuff, but my emotions are scatterd and he doesnt see that what he does so nonchalant is almost belittling to me.
How do you get yourself to move on, how do you stay friends or friendly with your ex, knowing that moving on has to take place..knowing that your life is changed forever...how do you get through the day with out thinking about him or mention him in conversations, as you have for the last 26 years...how do you not feel jealous, that he is having the time of his life and I am wallowing around feeling destroyed.
I am still in shock and disbelief!
I think I might be divorced before our other house sells and he has the financial ability to move out to his own place. That would leave us in the same limbo we have been in for the last number of years. Will I still stay in the guest bedroom, still give him nearly 100% access to the livingroom (and his precious tv) when he comes home? Still have to see his stupid face at dinner time? I hope to hell not. There's always the tool shed in the back, I think that's good enough for him, IMO! Not that he ever uses the lawn equipment out there.....