As long as you don't let it happen a 3rd time, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. Being a trusting person is a positive character trait. It's the idiots who betray the trust that have the problems.

You always make the best decision at the time. If you know someone is going to cheat on you before you hook up with them, you will not hook up with them.

So based on what you know, make the best decision. If it turns out that you don't get what you were hoping for, with examination you will see that it really isn't your fault.

Is there really such thing as too optimistic or too trusting though? I think those are awesome qualities to have (I have them too).. It's just to find someone who won't take advantage of them but I don't think we should ever alter them because we've been hurt.. just my opinion.. :)

I think the only way to find someone trustworthy is to be willing to walk away from all the ones that aren't without making endless excuses for them, until you find one that is.

It was my own neediness, and feelings of worthlessness that kept me with someone that didn't care about me.

Now that I know I can do it on my own....I won't (hope) that I never fall into that trap again.

3rd time 4th time what ever. It happends. Pam ppl anticipate the best possible outcome all the time. But thats just my opinion. So you can be to optimistic its life. But thats just my opinion . And if it fails so be it . Thats just my opinion pam.

Well, I know I'm a fool. And paying for it. WOnder why I give so many chances?
Hang in there Lily. For some reason this is how we gain our strength.

We've all been there, feeling betrayed, feeling like a fool, beating ourselves up. Looking for the good in people and being trusting is a good quality, the reverse is to live not trusting, cynical and unhappy. What I've found after repeating the same mistakes is that I need to listen strongly to those litle red flags that I would ignore before. My counselor told me that those little feelings may seem small at the time but they are huge. Like Rman said it's the idiots sho betray that have the problems.

PRPaul.. I will respectfully disagree with you.. I honestly believe that you attract back what you put out there.. If you are pessimistic in every person you meet, guess what? It won't work out..
The way I see it.. if I meet someone, I hold no expectation other than I've madea new friend. I am very optimistic about that. If anything develops from that point on, it's a bonus. If things mess up, I brush myself off, see it as an oppotunity to reflect & learn which is still a bonus. Perspective can change everything...

Aw Lily, I understand.

No shame, it's good human nature...It's just that sometimes we need more lessons before we pass the test... And you will. Best wishes..

Pam, I like your reply......

when I chose to be naive and trusting despite my gut telling me something else

I was culpable in the bad things that happened to me.

The hard part in this post-relationship time, is knowing whats my gut, and whats my cynicism.

I notice I'm getting better and better at it.

Thank you rbm.. :)