Oh my gosh...I am so sorry. Please know I am feeling the same way today and getting through the day at work like nothing was wrong hurt me worse. I have been seriously thinking about leaving my husband of 15 years. He is selfish, acts like a teenager, only cares about things that affect him AND has several profiles on several singles websites! I can't live like this anymore but I am torn because I do not want my kids to hurt because my 40 year old husband refuses to grow up and be a respectful man. I blame myself for allowing him to treat me like this and setting a poor example for his children.

A temporary divorce?

Never heard of it.

Sounds like a great ploy though.

Sorry you got duped.

Hi Tinkerbell,
I am truly sorry your guy is doing this to you.
I think you have 2 choices. Stay with this guy, hoping he will change. That never happens, and you will lose precious years living on hope that he will change, and why should it change?? He has you right where he wants you.
Or leave him and find someone that will love you, make you truly happy, that you can have a long term relationship with.
Sending support and hugs.

Divorces are not temporary--all are final. I'm sorry you were fooled, but do you really want to be married to someone who doesn't want you.

What should you stay around for him? He told you NO. You can't change people and if you re-read your post, he tricked you into the divorce and then told you he will not remarry you.

So pick yourself up and move on. You have a whole new life to start and don't waste your tears on someone who lied, and didn't care about you. I wouldn't even talk to him or text him--he would be on my permanent shit list.

I agree completely.

Omg. That was awful. Mental abuse. But in time you will see it as a blessing in disguise! Sending you thoughts of peace and comfort!

Wow. A temporary divorce...interesting concept.

You are divorced now and yes, he tricked you into this. This may be a blessing in disguise. You certainly know what he is about now and can move on to start a better life for yourself. You really don't want to stay with someone who could do this to you. He's not someone you could ever trust and without trust you really don't have a healthy relationship. I hope you are in counseling to work through what has happened to you.

That is a new one on me. What an ass. I know its easier said than done but don't feel bad. He did you a HUGE favor. You are so much better off on your own. You are worth more than this man will ever know. Do your grieving and then be thankful that you are free to love a real man. I feel bad for the next person on his list. I'm a little pissy right now and what is happing to you makes me even pissier. What a jerk. You'll be okay. We are all here for you.

Thanks all for your comments. We have talked and done some huge communicating. He is still with me and I don't know if I am able to be on my own. I don't have very good self-esteem and suffer from issues in that area. I'm going to give him till summer and if he still feels like he does then he will be gone. I'm not going to stay with someone who doesn't want to be married to me. I'm going to get some counseling and see what the therapist says too. I know I'm being taken advantage of and this is not the first time in my life. I've always allowed people to walk all over me. I'm not a strong person. Went through a lot when I was younger and it has carried over into my adult life. Urgg!!!! How I hate being an adult. I wish I was little again. I will survive and I want to thank everyone here for their comments. I'll take them all to heart and see what is best. I hope I will be able to make new friends here. Thanks all!

Hi Tink You said: "He is still with me and I don't know if I am able to be on my own."

Really? Who told you that and why would you tolerate anyone telling you that? You're not incompetent and you can live alone (unless a court has ruled you are incompetent and can't live alone).

Seriously, you must help yourself because no one will do it for you. You came here and told us a hard story and

[it posted too soon]

You came here and told us a hard story, and we took time and read your story and gave you our time to try to support you. But why go through all that and involve us when you knew all along that you were going to stay with him because you feel you can't be alone. Honestly, if you can't be alone, you won't ever let him go.

But your ex will have you taking up the doormat and wearing it as a dress, because that's how he looks at you. I wish you the best.

I think you will be able to breath now take time for yourself. Big hug

What AsTinmeGoesBy says.....

Hi Tinkerbell

My ex started an affair with someone I knew, while I was in the hospital trying to get my meds right. I was there for 6 weeks. I was crushed! we were married for 28 years and have 4 grown children.

I have met and talked to many people over the years, and there is this thing we do to ourselves that is a big trap. Please DON'T feel that you need to PROVE that your the best person for him. The truth is he is not good enough for YOU. I had to fight the feeling that I was not worth a thing. As soon as I took the initiative to divorce HER, I started to get my self respect back. The look on her face, when I handed her the papers was a real ego booster. Stop trying to please him and take the initiative and get him out of your life. It is sad that he is hurting you and dragging it out also. It's not worth it to try to change for him, it only makes you feel terribly insecure.

I found someone new and fell in love with her. We are married now and she honestly appreciates me for who I am, and tells me how fortunate she feels to have me. There is someone out there that will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. Staying with your ex will not turn him into "that great guy". Believe me, I have yet to see someone so immature as he is, turn around and become something he will never be. Find your real love. your wasting time trying to please him, instead of taking the steps that are necessary for your own self worth. Take it from someone who made it happen and now feels truly loved.