I'm sorry you're going through this, brother. This is a good site, and there are a lot of good people here to commiserate with.

I am so sorry I can't imagine 24 years I left after 8

Thank you both so much.

it was 24 years for me as well when my wife announced her need for freedom. you are not alone

My husband left me after37 years of marriage, saying he Needed space, we have been together since our sophomore year in high school, The only love of my life The only man I've ever been with. My heart has been ripped from me. It's been a little over a year. And I still can't get past this. My daughter's are all grown with very good paying jobs. One grandchild, But feel so alone ,at 56 I never in my dreams thought I would be without him. This is a great site for input n listening

As a mental health therapist for 26 years now, I've always been an advocate of support groups, and now I'm the one in need. Very grateful to be part of all of your journeys even if it's in an anonymous, cyberspace format. Couldn't participate in an in-person support group in my small town because when I showed up for one, 2 of my clients were there! So I had to drop out after one meeting. But it's hard. I have a few close friends, thank God, but live far away from my family of origin. Reminds me of the story of the little boy who had a nightmare. Comes downstairs and tells his mom he's scared. Mom sends him back to bed, saying don't be afraid, God is with you. He replies, Yeah mom, but right now I need a God with skin on.

To "Yearsgone", I just want to encourage you and "normalize" something: After 37 years together and you're only into the healing process for one year, be gentle and patient with yourself and with life. It's small consolation, I know, but you need quite a bit more time to heal. In our society there are unspoken--but sometimes spoken--messages to "move on", "get over it", "he's not worth it", etc. Healing and strengthening take time, along with new experiences and people, as well as support from friends and loved ones. Peace to you.

I divorced after 25 years of marriage and it was my second marriage. It's been two years since the divorce and in a week I turn 60. Some days I feel that everything is stacked against me. But day by day I'm working through it.
It will take time to repair what he broke.....and it won't happen overnight.

I am sorry to hear that, fdsabes. It really is painful to go through separation. I guess you can make good use of all the advice you have given over the years, although we all know it is harder than it looks when you are the one involved. The only thing I can share that I got from other people is you are in this situation now, accept it and assess it – meaning assess where you are and where do you want to go from here. For some people, a change of scenery like taking a vacation and travel can help in the healing process. I hope this is helpful.

Your probably wonder who you are now. You may have lived for her and not enough for yourself..

It’s time to refine yourself and what you want in life.

She’s doing what makes her feel better so you deserve the same and in meantime and actually all the time with or without someone go and put yourself first.

She met you when you put yourself first so there is something to be said about that.

Get yourself out of the office once in awhile and socialize so your not consumed with this.

A wise man told me long ago to learn how to say “fuck it”. And “Do the unexpected”.

Well I went to Mexico myself. Met people and had good time.
Also I went to bars and chatted up with the bartender. In that seat there is a secret world of meeting other people in our situation. Plus great conversations with single people that just want to have fun.

Find the door and walk thru it. Johnny29