You are a credit to womanhood.
Thinking of how to tell him, making the decision after lots of advice.
This is how a respectful and adult person should go about ending a relationship that they vowed to take for the rest of their life.
I hope that others here read this and learn how to act accordingly.

You might want to talk over a dinner out etc.
You will find the right time and place as you are a most
kind, considerate, adult who is respectful of others and the choices you have made.

Way to go,
I am sorry it didn't work out.

shanbanan - Making the decision to file for divorce against your significant other is a very hard and stressful thing to go through. I admire you for the maturity you are showing. You already know in your own heart and soul how to tell him. You've already stated it here... "Guess I just need to come out with it and be honest." You'll learn from your experiences throughout life that honesty is always the best policy. That way, no one is left in the dark wondering what is going on. You will always come out the victor in any situation if you use plain and simple honesty. Good luck to you my dear! Keep posting here for the support you need. You are a good person and deserve the best life has to offer you!

Wow thank you thenewway and Linda. Your kind words have really touched me. It has been wonderful coming here and talking with others who have the same struggles whether it be in relationships or with addictions etc. Thank you for reiterating that I can indeed do this and I can do it with my head held high deepest sincerity. The relationship wasn't all bad, and for that reason he deserves my respect for him as an adult and human being and I don't want a nasty greedy divorce. But he deserves someone who accepts him the way he is, and I deserve someone who is willing to work as a team and who isn't going to abuse me verbally when drunk. I definitely took my vows seriously and didn't want this for either of us, but I know it's time to get out and keep living a lie. Thank you for all the kind words and advice

I am sorry for you pain. You seem to have compassion for people even when they don't return the favor.

Initially I was thinking if it were me, I would not want to learn my spouse was divorcing me in public at a restaurant. I would probably prefer to be somewhere that I didn't have to try to hold it together and could exit quickly if I needed to. The more I think about your verbal abuse comment though, the more I think that might be the safest route to go. Let us know how it turns out. Take care!

Tammi

I'm fairly new here, so I don't know your whole story, but I under stand where you are at. My only thought here, from what I see on this post, is that once you say it to him, things can get pretty chaotic. Do you have a plan? When some one gets news like that, they don't often go "okay then, I'll just gather my things and go." My dad always told me to never poo (to put it nicely) in the same nest you have to live in. If it gets ugly, or he gets very manipulative, do you have a safe place to be. Do you need to give him notice to leave your place, or are you leaving. You might want to plan a separate place to stay, before all the packing starts. That stage can be very ugly.

You should feel proud. You have looked at your situation and decided to take ownership of your future.

Too many of us, (me included) fear loneliness so much that we subject ourselves to unnecessary heartache.

Be glad that you are in touch with yourself enough to know what is right for you and how to take care of yourself. Really, you are ahead of the game.

Reply #5 we are currently living with my parents and he is on the road most of the time as a long haul truck driver. I guess I don't have a plan per say but I know I can stay living at my parents while the "ugly" stage happens and until I can get back on my feet.
Reply #4 I will let you all know how it goes
Reply #6 Thanks for that, I don't often feel ahead of the game lol