I thought of my car, home and now my new
Apartment as my safety zone. If someone
Got me upset i feel an urgent need to go
Home where it was safe.

You are very new to this give yourself a break.

I remember those dark days. This stage is very
Bad, much better after the divorce and decree.
The healing can begin, its over.

I am glad you have fur babies for comfort And
unconditional love. HUGS

I understand how you feel...I was with my ex for 10 years and I still hurt so much. Last time we spoke was in July 2016 and he has moved on with a 25 year old. To see me you would think I was fine. I work a lot...I work out...I spend time with my boys. Older one in college and youngest in High school. But at night when I'm alone, I can't bear the ache in my heart and the longing for us...for him. I don't know where to turn to anymore...I have reestablished my faith in God and yet this ache and pain stays in my heart. Time is suppose to heal wounds but time isn't working for me....I found this site hoping to find some help. Valentines Day is coming up...and I fear that I will be a mess. I teach in the evening so at least I won't be alone...but still..

Downtime, the great enemy. People are sensitive to light, it affects the brain in mood and sleep. Valentines day....it is what we make it. Its a marketing gimmick from hallmark and florists, but that doesn't mean it wasnt always special to us. We'll get through this. Bad times and decent ones. I have seen the future we will share Valentine's Day with someone who truly appreciates us does not take us for granted and our heart will know love once again

The residual pain still sucks though. I call it an emotional echo. Its a traumatizing situation, we humans were gifted with memories so we'll always have them, but one day they will be overwritten by our next adventures that we don't know may be right around the corner. The unknown can be our best friend

Nothing worse than downtime... For me at least. I look forward to going to work, because I'm able to focus on something other than the hell I'm going through. Being alone on weekends and evenings are really difficult,
Take advantage of the times when friends and family offer to take you out, Major Hugs to you.

I'm also feeling very alone and since found this site seem to check in on it all the time. I think it's good to talk to people who are going through the same pain. I am also the same with night times my anxiety hits a high. And mornings are awful. I'm on day 7 of my breakup and it feels like day 1 but with less tears. I hope you can get out more often and day by day find some joy in your life. I'm hoping this for me too just can't see how. Big hugs

Sorry you are going through this. We all here understand the pain and grief. It will take time to get through it. I'm still working on myself. A good group of people here willing to listen and give you some advice. We are all at different stages of healing. Stay strong and look after yourself. Your health going through this is very important. -HUGS-

For me the weekends are the ones that kills me the most I have been separated for a yr now and some days I'm ok and others I just want to die. I worked nonstop at the beginning and cried all the time. Now I just give myself time to cry from work to home and that happens at night. I still don't know how to fix myself and I have been to therapy for quite some time, but I stopped it didn't seem like it was working at all. People keep telling me it takes some time to heal so I'm waiting impatiently for it to happen.

Downtime is definitely difficult especially if your home alone. All the memories that haunt us during those times that causes us to miss what we once had. I always get that sick feeling in my stomach. The early mornings I find the most difficult. For those of us who truly loved our ex or STBX which I assume is all of us, we woke up thinking about them back in the past and how happy that made us. We probably also thought of them right before we went to bed. That's a hard habit to break. I wish the best for all of us.

I hate to say it but it does help to hear how others feel during this time, It's sad but at the same time nice to know others are going through it as well. I've been married for 23 years, in the initial stages of this, separated now, house just sold. I move in 2 weeks from this home that is no longer a home. I think once I am in my new place with my son, I will feel much better. I have to say in the beginning it was the worst, felt like a death and so much anxiety. It has gotten easier, but it's hard when you have to talk to your ex, I just want to move past this and on to the next chapter of my life. I also have a hard time with just the idea of being divorced. But I think in the end it is what is best for me and my well being.

It is so hard. I think it's normal to especially miss them at the transitional times of day when you might have planned on a meal together- some form of reconnecting. I feel like I'm going crazy. Your fur babies are you best ground! they love you & need you. I have some too. When I get really down I try & find something to fix that requires looking stuff up or a lot of attention. You were someone before you met & now you get to redefine yourself again. Get back into some things you used to enjoy & maybe did not have time for or gave up as not mutual Hugs!