Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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happywannab 11/11/2008

This last week and weekend were one of the hardest since I caught my ex cheating and ran here for help. Not unlike what Bernie had talked about in listing his home. I took steps to finalize, getting back furniture and deleting emails, texts, etc... I have said I had given up on getting back with Tony before, but I know I never believed it in my heart. I think this almost unbarable pain I have gone thru this last week may have been the FINAL MELT DOWN and the DEATH of my love for him! It sure felt like someone or something died! Has anyone else experienced such a thing? I believe it is finally over and I believe it will NEVER happen for us! I somehow feel free, cleansed, whole again! Anyone else understand what I am talking about or have been through something like what I have explained? I sure hope I am right! I am so ready to be free of him and the unreturned love I carry around!

deleted_user 11/11/2008

Yes I feel as you feel. It is better to let go of a relationship that is onesided. They are not healthy. I let go of mine for more than one reason.

Til this day I am hurt but the hurt starts to fade for me. Unfortunatly it's the anger that I have a hard time breaking.

I'm still trying to figure things out but I will never be given the answers.

I'm glad you starting anew! Let them go and we will be better and stronger in time.

~Idio

deleted_user 11/11/2008

no advice, just a hug.

happywannab 11/11/2008

Thank Divine. Hugs are always welcome! I think I am well on my way! I feel it!

deleted_user 11/11/2008

Congratulations! Learning to accept and really letting go are two different things. I'm impatient to get there. Did it just happen for you unexpected and all of a sudden?

deleted_user 11/11/2008

I wish I could get to that point. I'm sitting here crying because I want my husband to come back and he's not and the holidays are coming and I feel horrible.

happywannab 11/11/2008

It has been a long time in coming. I guess like a drug addict, I had to hit bottom to be able to be finally "done"! It hurt like hell to let go, but I believe I finally have! Let the new life begin!

deleted_user 11/11/2008

I hope that is true for you.

Not to be the bearer of bad news- but I felt that way at one point but boomeranged back and forth for a while.

9 months in, despite the hours of tears and self-reflection, I am sure I have meltdowns to come.

BUT- that's just me. We have similarities amongst us all but our process is truly unique.

deleted_user 11/11/2008

I hope so for you sweetie pie - now watch the bastard decide he want you.

Be ready.....life is strange.

I love you goobie!!

deleted_user 11/11/2008

kaymc is right. prepare for him to phone you daily and make you cry. Mine does this. He phones and says "yada yada you're the love of my life yada"...."you are all that ever meant anything , yada yada". It is very painful and cruel.

They had us, they blew it and now it is over. It felt the same to me as when I was mourning the death of a friend. Isn't that horrible. It felt like a death had felt. The same shock, the same depression and pain. I agree with you it was the death of love as if that is actually a real tangible object.

kate52 11/11/2008

I havent had final meltdown...just mini meltdown when our house sold. My ex drew up the papers and instead of a separation agreement it is a property settlement agreement. We are still legally married I suppose but I have not had contact with him since I left 4 months ago. Today he is turning 50 and I have some sad feelings. My time will come to feel all of it. Happy, I am glad you are moving on..good luck to you.

MsBlank1 11/11/2008

Tho I left my stbx....I really do know what you mean.I guess I woke up one day and decided it was over.It took awhile to make the break and went back and forth....but I guess something just clicked one day and I felt free.I've not looked back since :)
Glad this happened for you cuz it's only forward from here on in(((hugs)))

deleted_user 11/11/2008

Best of luck to you and all my love. After seven months since my husband left I have gone through every emotion that there is. However, I am still grieving. It is a long process and it is cyclical. I hope you are in a much better place. You are a making difficult but good decition and you will never regret doing the right thing. As hard as it is now, you are insuring yourself a better future.

deleted_user 11/11/2008

For a happy wannab, you sound kinda happy! So good to hear that. If it helps to know, yes I know what you mean. I know the process it's not over, but I know something major happened and that gave freedom. So looking forward to what's next! Hats off to you!

deleted_user 11/11/2008

You are so not alone. I came to realize after 4 1/2 months when I finally went to a counselor. I think I knew in my heart and want to hold on to the idea until I felt I was going to lose my mind. It is like a death, a death of something you loved, that you thought would be forever. But unlike death where ther's no control. The death of our relationship was by someone's choice. The pain seems to linger.
All the months of emails begging for forgiveness, promising change, I'd find myself hoping. When I was served papers last week (as he still sent emails of love and come home) I felt closure. A weight was lefted, no more mind games.
Still have those up and down days or "what the hell happened?". But it's getting easier.
Congratulations for feeling some freedom and big ((HUGS))!

ChiTownBear 11/11/2008

I am glad that you are getting through these and seem to keep coming out stronger. You are still gonna have some moments, but I think, the way you are feeling, you are well on your way.

Soon the moments will come less and less and you will get through them quicker and come out even stronger.

You are getting there... just keep rolling with it ...

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