Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am in LA unitil tomorrow with my son as I decided to go to a trade show at the last minute. I brought Joe because I wanted to focus on him instead of my ex and her new boyfriend. I have some anxious moments but have kept them managed by txting and talking to some friends I met here. I can't tell you how much it has helped to have friends to talk me down from the incredible anxiety.
On the long flight here, I started to actually read "Codependance No More" and can see where I am codependant. I also can see where my ex is also. My hope is that I can finish the book and learn to not let others effect my quality of life. The problem is while I sort through all this mess.... am I normal to have painful thoughts still racing in my head? Why am i so obsessed with her and my ex. I hate to admit it but her being with anyone hurts me and to make matters worse... the things she said to me when she blew up at me...hurt like hell 24/7
I hope that these feelings are "normal" for a loss of this magnatude and this recent?.. I feel stupid sometimes for still feeling this way and not having been able to get my feet back under me already. I want to feel myself again so bad... the medication such as xanax helps a bit but I hate taking that stuff... I just want the pain to let go of me so I can enjoy each day as a gift....
I look forward to hearing others thoughts...
Take care and thank you in advance...
Jim
On the long flight here, I started to actually read "Codependance No More" and can see where I am codependant. I also can see where my ex is also. My hope is that I can finish the book and learn to not let others effect my quality of life. The problem is while I sort through all this mess.... am I normal to have painful thoughts still racing in my head? Why am i so obsessed with her and my ex. I hate to admit it but her being with anyone hurts me and to make matters worse... the things she said to me when she blew up at me...hurt like hell 24/7
I hope that these feelings are "normal" for a loss of this magnatude and this recent?.. I feel stupid sometimes for still feeling this way and not having been able to get my feet back under me already. I want to feel myself again so bad... the medication such as xanax helps a bit but I hate taking that stuff... I just want the pain to let go of me so I can enjoy each day as a gift....
I look forward to hearing others thoughts...
Take care and thank you in advance...
Jim
It's true there are no short cuts.
I never knew she had another guy , till one day she went to the bathroom and the other guy grabbed her phone and called me to see who I was, I was her fiancee' at the time. So I was crushed.
I kept busy, I went to the doctor/internist and he gave me a script for Kalanopin, I went to the gym right after work , after the gym , I went a jogged/walked on the track till I came home and passed out.
The key to anxiety is work out so much that you are tired.
Or play and run with your son so much that you are tired.
Now obsessing over an ex, I am also right ther with you. I am in constantly negative thoughts, where is she? who is she with? is she happy? does she want me back? does she still love me? did she ever love me? was I being used and cheated on the whole time? was I just a paycheck for her? I am constantly obsessing over my ex. that I don't know how to cure except to find someone new...or work out so hard I am asleep.
I really find all your posts touch me right to the core. It seems like we are going through similar things at the same time. One thing I noticed was how much you respond to other people going through the same things. And I wondered if you might find something I did helpful to you.
I joined a group in my area -- a "rebuilding after your relationship ends" type of group. It is not something that I would normally do -- but I was in need of support. It was very hard to go at first. But it turns out that it has been very helpful to me to be around others in similar situations. Plus, we have been working through a book by the same name as the class -- and it did give me a lot of insights into myself and my husband and his new relationship. And while things are definitely still hard -- it is nice meeting people in my area and going to this group and getting things out. A few of us have even done a couple things outside of the group - it really is nice meeting new people (not to date -- just to talk to). That is not one of my strengths normally.
And I just want to note that I think you really are working your way through all of this better than you think. I'm really impressed by your openness with your emotions through all of this.