Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Here is a little background on my journey..
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal
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When all you of you guys told me that this was an emotional roller coaster, you guys were not kidding!
I feel I am worse than before...how is that possible? I go to sleep at 3 or 4 am, wake up at 3 pm (on the days I have off of course). My mind wonders like crazy, i am crying more than usual, especially when I come home and turn on the lights and its an empty home.
I am in so much pain, I am so hurt that my marriage fell apart. I am just blaming myself for everything, "what if i did this..., what if i was more like this...". I start to question 'what is wrong with me?' My husband left me after two years of marriage. The day he left he never looked back, never had the desire to see me again, talk to me...nothing. Every time I would ask him just to talk he would say he doesn't owe me anything (after an overall of 6 years together). That there is nothing left to say.
It makes me wonder, like WOW he never loved me, am i not special? Did I really mean nothing to him? Whoever he is with must be really worth it for him. I know that this man completely destroyed my confidence and it is up to me to repair it but it really does make me feel like I am not worth anything.
I try to imagine he isn't with anyone else, but i know that is me just being naive. What do i do? How do I find peace? I have maintained no contact, or no looking him up on Facebook, or anything like that for a month, no texting, NOTHING...but it seems like it has only made it worse, I can only imagine him sleeping with other people, doing this and that and I feel that it kills me.
I know i have spoken to some of you about this but as some of you know, I am 25. That kills me...I will be 25 and divorced. I am afraid that this will prevent me from ever being happy again...because i feel like i will be judged about being only 25 and divorced. I think this is where i am struggling with the most. I know it should not be on my priority list but i want to be a mother one day, a wife...but I afraid it will never happen to me again..
Thank you to all of you who take the time to read these random rants I have, coming here and seeing your replies is honestly what gets me through the day sometimes.
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/3039556/journal
______________________________________________________
When all you of you guys told me that this was an emotional roller coaster, you guys were not kidding!
I feel I am worse than before...how is that possible? I go to sleep at 3 or 4 am, wake up at 3 pm (on the days I have off of course). My mind wonders like crazy, i am crying more than usual, especially when I come home and turn on the lights and its an empty home.
I am in so much pain, I am so hurt that my marriage fell apart. I am just blaming myself for everything, "what if i did this..., what if i was more like this...". I start to question 'what is wrong with me?' My husband left me after two years of marriage. The day he left he never looked back, never had the desire to see me again, talk to me...nothing. Every time I would ask him just to talk he would say he doesn't owe me anything (after an overall of 6 years together). That there is nothing left to say.
It makes me wonder, like WOW he never loved me, am i not special? Did I really mean nothing to him? Whoever he is with must be really worth it for him. I know that this man completely destroyed my confidence and it is up to me to repair it but it really does make me feel like I am not worth anything.
I try to imagine he isn't with anyone else, but i know that is me just being naive. What do i do? How do I find peace? I have maintained no contact, or no looking him up on Facebook, or anything like that for a month, no texting, NOTHING...but it seems like it has only made it worse, I can only imagine him sleeping with other people, doing this and that and I feel that it kills me.
I know i have spoken to some of you about this but as some of you know, I am 25. That kills me...I will be 25 and divorced. I am afraid that this will prevent me from ever being happy again...because i feel like i will be judged about being only 25 and divorced. I think this is where i am struggling with the most. I know it should not be on my priority list but i want to be a mother one day, a wife...but I afraid it will never happen to me again..
Thank you to all of you who take the time to read these random rants I have, coming here and seeing your replies is honestly what gets me through the day sometimes.
You tried. Half of a couple can't fix a whole relationship. He chose not to make the effort because that's what he wanted to do. You proved your strength by making an effort. He was WEAK because he did not.
You're only 25 so you have the resilience of youth on your side. You WILL BE OKAY!!!! I promise!!!
You are mourning the loss of your marriage, of being two people combined as one, you have lost the other half, it's like he died and you are alone now.
No one can really understand that pain except those of us that have been through it . It's great that you are on DS so you can see that we have made it through this, and you will too. Hang in there and good luck.
You are so young and have your entire life ahead of you. Being divorced is not going to prevent you from finding happiness. If anything, it will weed out people who aren't worth your time. Work on loving yourself and being happy. Forget the past and the future for now and just be...you.
You are doing much better than you think or give yourself credit for. Keep on posting here. We all care and hope the best for you. You will be so much better than you are now and sooner than you think. ((((hugs))))
He checked out, if he was ever checked in to your marriage the second he started things with the other woman. You have NO life at all when someone is manipulating you to live your life around someone who is threatening to leave all the time.
You are not old, you are young, with plenty of time to have kids. Thank your lucky stars you will NOT subject your kids to an abusive father. That is when the abuser came out in my husband. After we had kids.
I'm thinking if you really want to be happy again, it seems you really need to find a way to take your mind off the past and start focusing on your future. Without this jerk you still can find all the happiness you want to have. Focus on healing yourself with self care. Do good things just for yourself every day, that includes anything you enjoy doing. Please keep your focus on yourself.
I wish for you the very best of everything.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I just need time to pass ASAP!
second........ah the what if game. and it is just that. a game. something you play but never win. no solid answers ever come. I think we have all second guessed breathing here......what if is common.
and hey, you are a young one. and you will be happy again! so someone judges you.....old saying about walking a mile in my shoes before you speak? remember?
right now you hurt like the devil.
but I want you to set aside some time each day to hurt and then do one good thing for you............eat a good meal. exercise.
the self esteem and all shall return. you will discover the old you.
feel like you need to vent? do it here or get a good counselor.
rebuild you. let no one manipulate you.
Not.
Practice marriage, practice cars, practice rings.
I did 20 years of practicing, even had practice kids.
No big deal.
Through my personal therapy sessions, one thing that I learned that is good to remember: you gave it your best shot, do not ruminate on the past with the what if's...the past is gone, none of us can change it. A marriage takes two people giving 100% and one person alone cannot carry a marriage by themselves. It's nothing you did wrong...unfortunately people change and marriages fail. I never though my would in a million year, but it did---happen to me too. You are not a failure. Tell yourself you did your best, you gave it your heart and soul. The self-blame and self-hate will only add to your depression (I am very guilty of letting myself feel those emotions too). Find peace that you tried to make your marriage work, you did the best you could but no one can hold up both sides...take the lessons you learned from your first marriage---take time to find what you want in a partner and what you want from future relationships...you will heal (when you give yourself permission too) and you will find happiness---keep your mind open, go out with friends or try and keep a full schedule on the quite/alone times---keep your mind busy and make sure to try to go about living---it's when you live that you will find peace and realize there is more to life. Your divorce does not define you---YOU define you---and you will come out of this a stronger person!
Rors i really hAve tried to realizo that i dd everything i could. It just hurta that someone can treat you as disposable. What iswrong with people....
Not everyone will treat us as we treat them.