Stay strong. Here's my advice:
Send your daughter to a friend or relatives house the day you plan to give him the news. If you are truly affraid he will react violently ask a friend (preferably male and strong) to be there with you. Maybe in another room, ready to jump in if needed. Make sure your escape plan is set before you give him the news. Will you be asking him to move out or will you be the one to go? Either way make sure you have a place to stay if he refuses to leave.
HUGS!

Thanks ,I am planning on being the one to go ,I don't want him knowing where I am or having contact with us,ur advice is greatly appreciated :)

I know how you feel. My wife and I sleep in seperate bedrooms. We are headed for divorce. It hasn’t been as long as you. How could you last that many years. It has been on and off for 2 years for me. Now it feels like an elephant in the room when we are in the same room. It feels like you can cut the tension with a knife. This stretch has been only 2 months and I’m ready to throw in the towel. This is not the type of relationship I want or need. My wife also never touches. No hugs, no kisses, no touch. I have extended an olive branch on several occasions and got turned down every time. It’s hard being in limbo. I try to think about my future. I try to think about my bright future. How could it be worse than it is now? I can’t say or do anything without it being turned around on me and getting crap for it. I took a deep breath and got a shitty response asking me what that was for? I know I’m talking about my relationship, but I believe you will see the similarities. This is no way to live. I have to believe there is better out there. There are better times ahead. We both just have to stay strong to get past these bad times to get to the better times. Hope this helps. Hugs, stay strong, think better times ahead.

I feel like u are with the female version of my husband and only reason I've stayed is because financially I know I will be struggling and have to get everything in order ,it's been hard because like u I have offered my touch and got rejected over and over so I don't even want to try anymore ,I am very lonely and don't want to feel this way with someone ,I got married to have someone to cuddle with and love on and I don't have that at all,I have a roommate and at times it seems like an enemy who is always in a bad mood and angry at absolutely everything ,thank u for ur support and it sux to know u are going through this too :( hugs back !

If your husband makes a significant amount of money more than you there is such a thing as spousal support in most places. They can take it directly out of his check before he even sees it, and no contact is needed. Its a right to all divorcing couples (male or female) to help during an adjustment period. Its not charity, and its not revenge, though some people see it as such.
You have a daughter to take care of. I suggest you look into your support options.

Hi...what a horrible feeling. To be married and feel so alone. I too feel that. Just this week i took some drastic steps to separate from my verbally abusive husband. He is mean and hateful and refuses to admit or acknowledge that he needs help. It is definately not going to be an easy road and trust me the steps that i took this week was the HARDEST thing i have ever done. But like you i have a daughter involved, not his. She just turned 14 and for 12 years of those it was just her and i. NO man or father figure. And its been heartbreaking for me that the one and only father figure she has ever had turned out to be this. Well seeing as how fresh my separation is i have no advice to give. But i do think we could support one another through this. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers and i am here if you ever need a friend. By the way my name is Marie.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It must be very hard to deal with this while having your daughter. Thank you for taking good care of her. It sounds like you and your spouse haven't communicated well for many years. Have you thought about seeing a marriage counselor? If not, have you ever seen a personal counselor? When I was in your shoes, the best thing I did was to make an appointment to talk with someone who could help me learn good communication skills. I wish there was something that I could personally do to help you but thank you for being so brave and sharing your story with us. Hang in there!

It sounds like your husband has some severe issues. You have gone four years with out being touched that's not normal. I know what I am talking about because I have been in the same situation and felt the same way. I feel like that now I just want some one to hold me. You need to get out of this relationship this is not good for you or your daughter.

I'm trying to understand (1) how it got so bad for you and, (2) how/why you've let things fester for four years.

You are no longer in a relationship where the two of you can rely on unspoken cues, or body language, or even the shared history of each other. Hard as it may be, you have to resort to direct verbal communication.

So, what would happen if you looked at him one night and asked, "Are you happy?" Or, "I think maybe this isn't working. What do you think?"

Well its been 4 years because when I married him I did love him and I didn't want to just give up ,so I tried over and over to work it out ,but,I've been the only one trying so I'm done. And I think if I confronted him he would go off and do something violent because he often goes off and let's his anger get the best of him before he thinks ,so that isn't happening til I have everything in place and can leave soon after,also I think if I asked if he was happy he would say yes ,because all he thinks about is video games and eating ,and he does those things daily .