It's been an off and on 3 years since my husband has been gone. When it is convenient for him, he comes home. The hardest part of this process is not being able to control how he comes home. I want him to come home begging me for forgiveness, crying out of guilt and shame, and apologizing with tears running down his face. Well it doesn't always happen that way. I've had to learn that if I want my husband back (and I do), I have to let this process play out naturally. No games, tricks, or gimmicks to get him back. I live my life. He lives his life. I try not to hold grudges, or bring up everything he has done. There are pros and cons to him being around me so much when he doesn't want to work on "us" and he still talks to the OP. Sometimes I want him gone completely so that I don't have to look into the face of someone who acts as if he can't stand being around me. I often think if I didn't see him so much, then it wouldn't hurt so much but there is someone out there who hasn't seen their loved one for years and may not have communicated with them either. They would say they would do anything just to have their loved one around. I believe whatever situation you are dealt with, you can get through it, you just have to trust the process and keep yourself busy. Use this time to do the things that interest you and enjoy each day to the fullest.

I've just had my first breakup after a three year relationship. I feel like I'll never stop thinking about her, like highlight reels of our memories running at lightspeed in my head all day everyday. It does seem so surreal how after all that time, and getting to know each other SO WELL that it could just suddenly end, and have no contact at all anymore. It's so hard to get through everyday. It's been a little over two months and it hasn't gotten any better.

Momonthego2019 I don’t think that you should allow him to do those things to you. You sound like a really good person he is just taking advantage of. Let him go completely and live your life. I know it’s hard trust me I was with my husband for 12 years. I left him while still madly in Love. He begged but I see it like this...... if you do something over and over and watch the person you love cry out of pain for something you did........that person does not love you. I could never hurt him like that .....watching him cry hurts and I would not want to hurt the man I love. But in the end it was just a one way street. It was so hard not to text him last night. HARD. I miss him so much but I won’t allow myself to be taken for granted or disrespected by repeated behavior that has hurt me so much. Much love for you I hope you finally say No to him.

Daltonc I know the feeling . Everything I do that even gives me the slightest memory of him hurts to the pit of my stomach. I miss him all the time. I try to stay busy but he’s in the back of my mind. I think about him all day. My two kids look just like him. Honestly the way I feel right now I feel as though I will never get over this I will never stop loving him. But I have to I need to for the sake of my well being my sanity. At least learn and be okay with not being around the person I love. It are right about everything. It does feel surreal. I’m outside and feels like I’m living life but kinda in a dream as though it’s not real but it is.