That’a So hard. Hugs.
I m so sorry that you are going through this pain

Thank you. It has been a struggle, it seems to be getting a little better but it is still one step forward and three or four backwards.

It's hard when you had no say, then parenting as single parenting is hard. We co parent but I get so frustrated being a single parent I can't even focus to date.

Okay let's start with your ex acting like she doesn't feel anything that's because she's got somebody to occupy her time and eventually that will come to an end and when it does I'm hoping you're in a good enough spot to tell her no when she comes crawling back

The one night stand chalk that up to carnal pleasure every human needs it and every seeks it. Don't look at it as you are unwanted look at it as a blessing in disguise you're not ready for a relationship of any kind even casual dating.. because all that is is a rebound it's a transference you're just transferring your feelings for your ex. To someone new simply because when you're lonely and to subconsciously no matter how minor it maybe there's something about them that reminds you of your ex an attraction to them what you realize your feelings for your ex are gone you're going to look at that person that you started dating and you're going to be like oh s*** what am I into because I don't want to be with this person don't even sweat that cuz casual dating doesn't work when you're in the position you're in right now it's just getting more emotions tangled up that you don't need


The roller coaster of emotions you're feeling do not try to push them aside Embrace every single solitary feeling let yourself give yourself permission to feel these things because you're allowed to be pissed you're allowed to hate her you're allowed to love her and feel like you're dying you're allowed to be anxious you're allowed to if your religious praying back to God and try to bargain with him it's the process you have to go through it there's no way around it it's just like death of a person you have to go through the five stages of grief only difference is in our cases with dealing with living ghost. There's no magic number on a time frame there's no shortcuts. The only way you're going to come out the other side of this is to feel everything you need to feel and I'm not going to kid you I'm not going to Pat you on the back so you know you'll be okay metaphorically you're not going to be okay right away but there is going to be a date and I promise you it will come if you're going to wake up and you're going to get part way through your day and you're going to realize damn I didn't think about my ex until just now and you're going to have a sigh of relief and on some level you going to realize this is where it begins and you're going to start to heal and every day after that it's going to be longer and longer before your ex Pops in your head. And having a kid having to deal with your ex that makes it tough but you got to find a way to co-parent. It's not the easiest thing in the world me and my ex we've been divorced a year in January we have kids we have a granddaughter we still do things as a family holidays birthdays are just getting together to go to the park it all revolves around our granddaughter and then my my ex daughter in law her new husband my son there too.. it's actually become a running joke when I have a family reunions there's more X's there than couples. But you'll get your footing and you'll start figuring it out the best outlet you have found his right here on daily strength if it had not been for me find in this site I don't know where I would be mentally right now after going through my divorce. I probably been coming to the site for 2 years now. Not once have I had one ugly thing said to me. It's the one place you can be as honest as the day is long about how you feel what's going on what you've done what you're going to do and you don't have to worry about it get back to everybody in your day-to-day life it's the only place you can anonymously be 100% real yes that's an oxymoron but it is what it is. And to be able to see that there are other people feeling exactly what you feel when you thought you were alone in those feelings it's such a Saving Grace.

That's my OCD detail oriented long-winded advice from my standpoint Left Foot Right Foot breathe one minute at a time you got this even when you think you don't you go

Fadedgypsy Wish I could get my hisband to read this but he thinks he is in love and I know he is on the rebound from the guy that just kicked her to the curb. Her manual on life didnt include the part to not go after the husband of your friend of 35 years.

I'm so sorry that you have experienced such betrayal. I can empathise after 26 years with the same man, I was 16 when we started dating. My husband always came first I had him on a pedalstill and trusted him impeccably never thinking he would ever be unfaithful. We had a nice life, we had got through the earlier years when our children were young and at times it was tough. I had studied raised the family always worked kept a lovely home.we had family get togethers, nice holidays we were grandparents and at a point were we were comfortable. I loved him so much to the point that I thought I was going to die from a broken heart. It was the worse experience of my life it really was. I don't know about you but I am a very loyal person, Family is everything and I will give me all to help make things work. Believe me it does get easier you begin to redesign yourself in some ways because I do believe a part of you is taken away. I know my husband has definitely left a hole inside me that won't ever be filled. One of the other posts speaks of going through the emotions feeling every one and riding them out. That is good advice because like bereavement it takes going through the stages to get at the other end. I made. Point of finding myself, I didn't know who.i was anymore, our family was torn apart, I was no longer completely part of his family it was awful. I was scared of the dark and had never slept in bed on my own honestly I was like a little girl lost. It was the darkest place I have ever been in it really was and he was basically off on his merry way enjoying life. I had to be honest with myself asking if I could have him back would I ever trust him of which the answer was no. I also asked myself if I could live without trust again my answer was no. I wrote journals, I planned my calendar filling the special or important dates in advance then I knew I wouldn't be moping around. I started getting outdoors in the fresh air. I engaged in things that I would never have done with my husband. I invited friends round. I began to focus on me and prioritise my own needs for change. I researched why this happens and how to get out then other side. My life changed overnight. I spent a good 18 months finding myself. After 18 months I accepted a first date. My husband has asked to.cone back a number if times since. Although hard I have remained true to myself and said no. Early on when we split I wrote down everything I could remember were he had lied to me, humiliated me, made me feel like I was going out of my.mind etc. And when I was feeling like I was going to give in I would read it to keep me going. It helped. 3 years on we both continue on our separate ways. It takes time it really does please take time out for you and find yourself again. Hope all goes well. Try to keep as positive as you can.

Its been 20 years and you are in un-chartered waters. You need to be more careful because you are vulnerable and there are women who will take advantage of you. I have a relative who was bilked of his life savings after falling for a woman who made him feel alive again, only to be victimized. I would take it slow and be safe than sorry. Consider putting your energy on raising your daughter into a woman you can be proud of. As you do that day to day, learn to appreciate whatever it is that you have right now. Some people have extreme issues on health, finances, and jobs. This is not to downplay the pain of broken relationships but it is oftentimes helpful to realize that it could be worse. I hope that would help calm your emotions.

I’m sorry your going through this and feeling alone! I’m also feeling extremely lonely sometimes but in other days I feel ok! Dating is like that though some people will stick some won’t... it might not be the right time for you to date yet? You know what you need but I know I’m not gonna jump into dating right now bc when your hurting you make poor decision in partners!

I’m sorry you are having to go through this. Being with the one you know is your other half and then losing them is the most difficult thing to do. Trying to move forward is a challenge of its own as you described. Plug away day after day. There will be a light soon. Kinda going through the same thing.

I was with my ex husband for 20 years (10 married). Your story sounds a lot like mine.

It was rough. Really rough.

I'm over ten years down the line now. All I can say is that there is another side, and things will get a lot better. My kids are now almost grown (16 and 18) and I wonder where the time flew.

Healing hugs, Patti