Breakups hurt like hell. We all know this.  I am unfortunate enough to have gone through the death of my wife of 15 years and an unexpected break up from my girlfriend of 5 years. By the way, folks, these 2 events happened with a span of 7 years.

Neatly sandwiched in the middle of this was the sudden death of my only sibling and biggest support.

The breakup just happened this past weekend. Tonight, for the first time since then, I am starting to feel somewhat normal. Normal being relative, of course.

I wasn't eating, was barely sleeping, at work I did the bare minimum and I did even less at home. Zombie-like would be a proper term. And I also have depression which made things worse.

So how did the fog start to lift?

For starters, I have been working for the same company for 14 years and my boss, who started the company 20 years ago, has always been there when I've needed him. We had a good talk about it and also discussed medical issues he is having (he may have the same illness my late wife had, so I know what questions he should be asking his doctors and what steps he should take)

You don't need to tell everyone you know about your breakup, but tell someone. They might surprise you with their response. And you will feel better for having done so.

Secondly, stay busy. I don't mean go to work and stay there for a month, but find something to do around the house. For me this means a full on clean out and reorganization of my bedroom. Your mind will be on that rather than he/she who will not be mentioned.

Which leads to thirdly..clean break. No contact with you-know-who, unless absolutely necessary (like if you have children together or work together) and even then keep it to a minimum. But don't be mean or rude. Take the high road.  This will be tougher than you think.

This is where I am right now and has helped alleviate a lot of the pain. The other two things all the stuff I've read suggests, exercise and finding new activities, are going to be the toughest ones. One, I hate exercise and am lousy at every sport I've ever tried, and two, I live in a small town and activities are limited, plus I tend to be better in social situations if it's one-on-one rather than group.  

Some suggested  volunteering to meet people, but for me, if you don't have a full belief in what the organization stands for, you are volunteering for all the wrong reasons and are just going to get hurt all over again.

Would love to hear back your thoughts, suggestions, and your own stories.  Stay strong.  I'm going to!