Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Last week I found out that my husband whom I've been with for 15 years was having an online affair with a 21 year old girl he met in a poker chatroom. The affair had been going on for 3 months. I found a suspicios number on my cell phone records, called and spoke to the girl. I confronted my husband next and he told me he was sorry, that he was just unhappy with my weight gain and that he wanted to work it out. He stated that he would never hurt me like that again. I should mention that he had a one night stand about 6 years ago as well.
Yesterday I found out that he never stopped talking to this girl, and that he even talk to her parents so that he could show them what a great guy he is. He is almost 36 and we have two children together. I am so disgusted by him. He is now saying that he "loves me but is not in love with me" and that he wants out.
What kind of a monster does this? To me? To our children? Not to mention he got in trouble for breaking into houses last year and was put on ankle monitoring...I stood by his side. I feel like I can't breathe without him and the pain is so intense. I need words of comfort, I need to know that it will get better...I am so lost.
Yesterday I found out that he never stopped talking to this girl, and that he even talk to her parents so that he could show them what a great guy he is. He is almost 36 and we have two children together. I am so disgusted by him. He is now saying that he "loves me but is not in love with me" and that he wants out.
What kind of a monster does this? To me? To our children? Not to mention he got in trouble for breaking into houses last year and was put on ankle monitoring...I stood by his side. I feel like I can't breathe without him and the pain is so intense. I need words of comfort, I need to know that it will get better...I am so lost.
You're right: he is a monster. Whoever heard of a 36 year old husband and father breaking into houses? That is just nuts. Throw him out and lock the door. File for divorce. Nail him for as much as you can. If your family lives in the lower 48, move to them and start over. You are still very young and can maneuver through this with support and keeping your head on straight day by day.
We will get you through this. There are some really good women in this forum that can help much more than me or the other men here can. But, know that we are all pulling for you. :)
It hurts like h*ll, and yes--I'm sure it feels like you can't breathe. For me, it wasn't so much a lack of breath as a constant churning in my stomach--like butterflies on steroids!
It does get better. I'm not going to lie: it takes time, but it really does get better. Slowly things get easier and brighter until one day you turn around and realize that yes--it has become better. It may not yet be good, but it's definitely better and improving.
Be kind to yourself, and look after yourself so that you can look after your kids.
Sending you many good thoughts.
You're not alone on here. :) There's many of us been in the same, or similar boats, and many in different boats. Lots of people for advice, or just to listen.
:)
He has shown that he can't and won't change his behavior IMO and clearly you need to walk away from this situation before it causes you and your children further pain. I only hope he can get himself straightened out for the sake of your kids.
I just wish he would see what he is losing. I wish he could just wake up and see...instead he's so consumed with this relationship with the young girl, it makes me sick.