I have still been attempting to communicate my feelings that our marriage is worth saving to my husband (separated since 10/10). We are still doing almost everything together but he will not attempt to try counseling. Our elementary aged kids, in my opinion, deserve parents that try to work through "lost love feelings". The more I think about our past difficulties of my controlling behavior, verbal outbursts toward him, etc... The more I realize I had lost those romantic love feelings toward him as well. I just think a lot of people do especially when you hit the 40's.

So, even though the fighting has gone, we do fun family things, the kids are happy with us but depserate for him to come home for real he won't even consider counseling. I believe family is worth doing every possible thing to save before dissolving a marriage (except for in physical danger situations).

He wants us to see a mediator. Nothing legal has happened yet. I want a lawyer of my own if we have to do this. I asked him to commit to a few counciling sessions then I would try a mediator if it doesn't help. What do you guys think? He says he can't imagine counciling would change anything. THere is no other woman, he just feels out of love. I am more in love than before because of the individaul counseling and anti-depressants I have gotten. Because of him taking a stand and having a strong backbone after my issues, I find I desire him even more.

In my heart I think it will help. He is afraid of trying because if things fail we'd have to go through this again. He does not believe love and attraction can return if issues are resolved that caused the loss.

Sorry for the rant....just need support and friends.