Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It has been almost 4 years now that my wife and I separated and divorced. I have never fully recovered from the grief over my lost, maybe it because I saw this as a referendum on me, maybe it was because I failed my family I'm really not sure. Immediately after it happen I went and stayed in counseling for almost one year, I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar Type II and have been on medication ever since. I work out, I bought a business and have seen it grow but I cannot shake my grief. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my lose, not a day does not pass where I don't weep just a wee bit.
Friends and family have told me to move on, that you must get over this(I never dated or been out with anyone else)...I can't this is bigger than me and I'm losing the battle....I have never been the same...a big part of me has died and refusing to growing back.
My grief is like water is can wash over me, then retreat only to wash a shore again later...sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker, but it never stops.
The simple pleasure of hanging out with the kids that use to get me so excited with anticipation have been muted
I'm hoping writing this will get this out of my system and I realize how silly the whole thing is. I would like to spend some time with someone however buying my business I had to put my Insurance on hold.
I need to get some rest, maybe a good night sleep will help.
Thanks for letting me ramble
Friends and family have told me to move on, that you must get over this(I never dated or been out with anyone else)...I can't this is bigger than me and I'm losing the battle....I have never been the same...a big part of me has died and refusing to growing back.
My grief is like water is can wash over me, then retreat only to wash a shore again later...sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker, but it never stops.
The simple pleasure of hanging out with the kids that use to get me so excited with anticipation have been muted
I'm hoping writing this will get this out of my system and I realize how silly the whole thing is. I would like to spend some time with someone however buying my business I had to put my Insurance on hold.
I need to get some rest, maybe a good night sleep will help.
Thanks for letting me ramble
I have my good and not so good days. Sleep is essential.
I guess what I am getting at is I am blamed for ruining our marriage and everything he did was my fault. I filed fro divorce 3 1/2 years as he was living with mistress #2 and we are still not divorced. He has never spoken to me since I found out what happened and I feel that is a huge part of why I can't move on. He sent me a text to tell me he was moving across the states to live with a girl he met online. We have 2 children and there was no good bye. I could go on with all the horrible things he did to me and the children and yet I am still here with a broken heart. He gave up his family, career, friends and got everything he wanted back plus a new girlfriend. I had to pick up the pieces and can't move on. I hate when everyone tells me to move on because this was my life, my dreams. When I said for better or worse, sickness and health I meant it.
Just know you are not alone. My 22nd anniversary is next month and it is killing me. I have not been on a date or anything since this happened and don't even know how to. Everyday I wish I could go away to a place for therapy and get better but I could never let my daughter live with him. I think that would kill me completely. I am a complete mess. The one thing I can say is I go through waves. I just wish they would last more then a week or two and I could laugh once in a while.
Have you ever considered that the medication you are taking for your bipolar condition is doing quite a bit of the muting of your feelings?
The reason I ask this is because I have a bipolar brother, and it took quite a long time for them to get his medication perfectly adjusted to where it controlled his condition but did not turn him into a zombie with totally muted feelings and reactions.
It may be worth discussing this with your psychiatrist to see if it needs some adjustment so that you can have some joy back in your life.
(((TML)))
So because of what I feel I don't feel 4 years is too long to still be working through your feelings. I actually think its better if you still feel it to say it instead of trying to hide them away. I do hope for you, just like for myself that in time we will find happiness again, and even if a part of our past remains in our hearts it won't be the biggest part.