Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am just a little curious to know if any of our members out there ever had to deal with the Facebook and your "ex" issue, after a break up?
My ex-fiance is still currently on my friends list on Facebook, I had planned to remove her several nights ago, but on that night we had one final talk over the phone. We agree'd for "no contact" by way of phone or text, but when the matter of what we're going to do about Facebook, she was quick to say "that's okay, keep me on it, that way if something comes up in regards to the cat's, we can talk about it that way, through private messenger"!
I know most would say that it's ridiculous to keep an "ex" around on Facebook, just for the sole purpose as so that if ever needed we can talk about the cat's, or as she likes to call them, Mommy's little girls! Seeing that we agree'd to no verbal contact, and no phone text's, there's really no way for me to convey to her how I'm feeling about keeping her on my Facebook.
I know it's probably best just to go in there and click the "unfriend" button and be done with it. But if I do this, would this be one last example to this person of how terrible I am, and that I'm a liar and don't keep my agreements. Or should I just do it, regardless of the judgments and just move on?
My ex-fiance is still currently on my friends list on Facebook, I had planned to remove her several nights ago, but on that night we had one final talk over the phone. We agree'd for "no contact" by way of phone or text, but when the matter of what we're going to do about Facebook, she was quick to say "that's okay, keep me on it, that way if something comes up in regards to the cat's, we can talk about it that way, through private messenger"!
I know most would say that it's ridiculous to keep an "ex" around on Facebook, just for the sole purpose as so that if ever needed we can talk about the cat's, or as she likes to call them, Mommy's little girls! Seeing that we agree'd to no verbal contact, and no phone text's, there's really no way for me to convey to her how I'm feeling about keeping her on my Facebook.
I know it's probably best just to go in there and click the "unfriend" button and be done with it. But if I do this, would this be one last example to this person of how terrible I am, and that I'm a liar and don't keep my agreements. Or should I just do it, regardless of the judgments and just move on?
big hugs to you.
Send her a message to say, "upon reflection, I think it's better if we don't remain friends on Facebook. I am going to unfriend you. If anything happens with the cats, I'll try to give you a call." Leave it at that.
Fact is, she did leave you and she needs to accept the consequences of that. Including no longer having contact with the cats she professes to care about.
Thank you happymama, MrCellphane and refurb for your input, it is very appreciated.
Every time I read a post like yours, Aaron, it reinforces for me that I'm glad I never got caught up in FB.
What an EX thinks about us no longer matters. NO CONTACT means NONE - ZERO - NADA. Doesn't mean it's okay to chat about cats via FB.
You mentione Cats - more than one. Either give her one or decide who keeps them and that's the end of the story about the cats - no need to chat about them.
The only way to overcome a breakup is by being serious about pushing through the situation. If you play around with any part of it, it will only prolong your healing.
Good luck.
:)
Before I unfriended him, I sent him an email telling him I was going to and why. He blew a gasket (which he never ever does). I wont go in to the back and forth of his messages, but at one point I thought "see? THIS is why you need to do this". He made it all about him, as usual, when it was about me. So i stopped answering those messages.
BTW-he announced his engagement to #4 on FB......
It was a hard choice, a small part of me liked having some "direct access" into my ex's world, but now that I don't have that ability, granted at times it drives me nuts, but all in all I feel a little bit more free.
It's just hard, here I am, day # 8 removed from the relationship and I'm still feeling "off my game", still getting those little panic attacks, some racing thoughts, guilt, anger, reality chills come across my body at times, sweaty palms and dealing with the fact that I'm alone......just still all fricking hard to deal with. But I'm trying my best to put one baby step in front of the other!