Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

11,899 Members
100,061 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Face to Face with the OW..

Che2
Che2
At the Soccer game today..

First time that we have really been around each other. She walked up to me and told me that I need to "deal with my issues because she isn't going anywhere"..amongst other things.

She had the nerve to tell me that I don't need to judge her because she is "sure" that I have had more sexual partners than she has. HAD to respond to that and let her know that, even if that is the case, NONE of them were MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE!!

Other than that..I didn't react... not going to let my kids see me act the way that I wanted to.

They walked aroung the Soccer fields together.. holding hands and kissing. The other soccer Mom's were as grossed out as I was.

The fact that my kids now have to spend a portion of thier lives around this woman bothers me greatly.

I tried..and failed..not to let it get to me. She is one of those women that commits adultry and is PROUD of herself. Like she won something. She wanted him, she got him, and she is happy with herself.

I am sure that there are lots of people on this site who have had similar experiences. It's not fun. I do know that she, and my ex, have not won anything but a life with partner that they will never fully be able to trust.

Now I just need to think of something to do with all of the energy that I didn't use drop-kicking her ass at the soccer field.

Any suggestions??
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear you had to deal with this, I thought I was the only only one that has to see the OW at my childs functions. This will sound like a stupid suggestion, but spend about 15 minutes mentally kicking her ass, cussing her out, and anything else you can think of....then....go on about your day. Dont let the bitch win your thoughts over. Go play with your kids, do something you want. Eventually her day will come. Stay strong and have a great weekend. I saw the OW on my way home from my boys soccer game....cussed her out all the way home mentally...
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are a strong woman, I don't know that I could have held back.
If the ow in my situation had made a commment like that to me, she would've been on the ground waiting for an ambulance.
I am lucky my son's are both in their 20's and they would not be bothered by my actions (I'd get a "great right hook mom").
Vacuum or scrub something, that usually gets my unused mad energy going.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Haven't had a face to face...but I'm kinda looking forward to it.

Okay, he left, and is with her, whatever. But, I"d smile and say "Hi Whore....you should stay the hell away from me because I'm going to have to kick your ass, just because I can...."

Kids around or not, I will have my say.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Good for you Che! Took the high road and didn't see her sweat. Fantastic. Go for a nice relaxing walk, go get a guilty pleasure type snack, go take a nice long hot bath and relax, go exercise.

If all fails then. Speak to BOB about what it has in mind.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My sister had an experience like yours at her son's baseball game. The other woman talked really loud in front of all the other parents and my nephew. He is 12 and was totally embarrassed. He asked his dad never to bring her to another game. After the game my sister told her that she wanted to ask her if she would not mind talking so loud at the games and calling attention to herself. The OW grabbed my sister's hair in front of everyone and pulled it. My sister started crying and was totally embarrassed. She had no idea the OW would get violent. The other baseball parents told my sister to get a restraining order on her so my sister did! Just be very careful at the games is my advice!
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my opinion, she showed she has no class by approaching you. She must be very insecure in her relationship with your husband. Serves her right.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Che, I think that qualifies you for diplomatic immunity. So the next time your kids aren't around feel free to drop-kick her ass anywhere you want. We wouldn't tell anyone.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i'm so proud of the way you handled yourself, grace and dignity. your a lady. now go join a kickboxing class and kick some ass. and i'd have to say yeah they sure are winners. NOT. just love your kids. be there for them. all my childrens memories are mom always being there for them. it's nice when they say it to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, years ago when faced with a similar situation my divorce was absolute hell. Number one I went out and bought a necklace with block letters on it with the letters WWJD - what would Jesus do? I wore it constantly, never took it off for a couple years and it kept me from doing things like any type of retaliation (except well, for the time I keyed her car at a school function but that was before I started wearing the necklace) It is a constant reminder that God is there and we are responsible to Him first. Secondly, well, I would go in the back yard a few times and throw logs from the wood pile as far as I could throw them until I couldn't anymore. Helped alittle. So sorry to hear what you are going through, it's awful and without warning I suddenly find myself back teetoring on the edge of divorce again. Will not survive the same person if it goes through. I wish you some peace, it is precious when it comes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I also face that situation daily. My best friend is dating my (now) ex. She and I work together at the same elementary school. Everyday I walk by her like shes not there. I dont even give her a dirty look. I kill myself to take the higher ground and pretend shes a gnat. I get to see her at my children's school functions bc her son is best friends with my son. I met her and showed her that school and introduced her to my husband. I caled her to come with her son and get out with my family bc I felt she was lonely. We were all friends before I got a divorce and then she snuck around behind my back to date him. Nice. Move me out of my house into my apartment across the street from yours on Friday and and then date my sbtx (at that time) on Saturday. That is a quality friend, right!

Anyway, everyday I look great and have a calm smile on my face. EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. She will never see my sweat. And at the soccer game I ignore her on the outside but inside I am kicking her ass.

She can have him because he's a catch on the outside...its his ADHA not paying the bills acting like a child with a controling mother side I wont miss at all! Hes all yours baby!
deleted_user
deleted_user
It3618, forget diplomatic immunity. THAT qualifies you for the Nobel Peace Prize. Al Gore has nothing on you. You must be a saint!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow Che I am so impressed. You are a strong woman, and what an absolute BITCH do say and do those things to you and your ex is an asshole to do all the public display. I think you need to get a punching bag, his face on it and kick and beat the thing to death. I am really proud of you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You handled that so well. Good for you.

When I'm that upset, I do some heavy duty house cleaning.

If you want, I'll go kick her ass for you...that way your children won't be embarrassed. ;)

((((hugs))))
deleted_user
deleted_user
You been there and done that. My EX brought his "friend" (the guy he left me for) to a bowling tornament I was was hosting as an Autism fund raiser, along with his entire family. Luckily my BF was there and I made sure not to let him away from my side for 2 seconds.

You handled it better than I would have. HUGS to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My x's OW said things loudly when I walked by at the auction for our farm (this was while he was STBX). I didn't say a word but kept right on walking. I am ready for her if she approaches me again...this time with a plan. If she approaches you again, look at her like she's lost her mind. Tell her that you'll pray for her and shake your head sympathically. Then walk away. Don't allow her to say anything else to you.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: kisses2016
    7992
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    2620
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...