Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My wife asking for a divorce was a big shock to the system that I am still in recovery from 6 months later. I'm not close to many people where I live, so I wanted to move back to Dallas where most of my friends are. However, we have a 3-year-old son, and I'm not going to abandon him. It's just not an option for me.
So instead of making a clean break and starting over in a city where I have a lot of friends, I'm sort of stuck here in my own head. I genuinely think I'd be able to move on if I didn't have to see stbx every few days when we're exchanging our son. When I'm not with her I don't feel good, but at least I'm not openly weeping. But all it takes is looking at her in the eyes and it just devastates me. I was certain it was going to get better. It's not. Will it?
Everyone's timing is different, but 6 months no doubt have made a difference in you, even if you don't realise it. The problem may be that you still expect something, you still think that she should see you for who you really are, or who you are now, and then she should come back to you and let you come back to your boy. This can be a hurtful situation and you need to listen to what she says. If she says it's over and does not show any indication that she wants back (and my guess is she doesn't), then you need to move on.
Just try to make new friends. I'm sure there are wonderful people where you are who would be more than willing to open themselves to you if you only let them. Perhaps even a significant other.
If you see that this is not helping you and that no amount of support from new friends will heal you, then it may indeed be good to move away to Dallas for a while. You won't be very good to your son if you stay this way. Yes, he does need his dad, but he needs him whole, and he's at an age at which he can certainly forgive you if you take a few months to sort yourself out.
Think about all this (and more), discuss it with a therapist. I'm sure you'll make it out of this, you're clearly already making it out of this even if you don't fully realize it =)
I've tried to date just a little bit (as much as you can really date on Tinder), and that helped bandage the wound for a little while...but when it ended that bandage was ripped off and I felt just as bad as I have for the last half-year. Just looking for some relief at this point. Maybe all it takes is time.
and decree are in place, IMO. Work on yourself and keep
Focused on what you have control over and can fix Which
is you. Not your STBX or your marriage as It stands now.
Support groups too like divorce care and therapy will help
you move thru this. You need to keep Reaching out, Leaving
town will not help you Or your son.
I am pretty much Alone now and you know what i am okay.
Life Is not easy and you need to help yourself grieve, Grow
and heal and eventually move on.
I have gone no contact with my ex, many with children use
limited contact. Talk only about financials and children. No
personal chit chat None, keep it to the business at hand only.
Many just use email or text, don't talk on the phone with them
unless really needed. HUGS
And yes time takes time and there is no easy quick
Way thru this pain and dating is not a healthy answer
to the problems at hand. HUGS
I hope you heal up and start thinking strategically about the future.