Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone, my wife and I separated in December 2009 and eventually divorced in November 2010. We broke up because of her cheating on me and other things. I was devastated and struggled for several years. There has been very little to no contact with each other since then. Suddenly, a few months ago she contacted me and wants to be friends. She wants to know that I'm happy and doing well. She doesn't want me back or anything like that. She already has a steady boyfriend and lives 1500 miles from me. I would like to be friends (or at least civil with her) but she just cannot understand the pain she has caused me because of the lying, cheating, and abandonment.
I guess my question is: How can I help her to more closely understand where I am coming from? Is there a book, an article, or anything like that and I could have her read, so she might be able to more closely take into context my pain and reasoning behind being unable to forgive and forget at this point.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. :)
I guess my question is: How can I help her to more closely understand where I am coming from? Is there a book, an article, or anything like that and I could have her read, so she might be able to more closely take into context my pain and reasoning behind being unable to forgive and forget at this point.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you. :)
12 years ago I married someone that I knew in my soul I shouldn't have married, but I was pregnant and afraid of being alone at the time. Fast forward to 2012 and two kids later, the relationship had become toxic. I tried to stay for the kids' sake, but that wasn't healthy for anyone. I made mistakes and he admitted to mistakes to as well as admitting we should have never been married. Now that the divorce has been finalized for a year, he has asked to be friends. I remain civil with him for the kids' sake, but he was all about control and having to know every little detail of my life, even now, he will ask the kids, when they are with him, if I am seeing someone or have a boyfriend. So I say this from the bottom of my heart, walk away and don't look back and again, be very glad you have 1500 miles between you. Best of luck in everything and I hope for only good things to come your way.