Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Im so upset, my ex and i broke up just 2 days ago and he is already on a dating site. We have been on and off for the past 7 years. Im just so upset that he could care less about my feeling and move on so fast. Did he really get over me in 2 days?
Please unfriend him and his friends from your Facebook and you unfriend yourself from his Facebook. Then don't look at or get on Facebook or any other sites because it turns out to be very traumatic for you and we have seen it happen here on this board so many times and the hurt is bad.
Then block his texts and calls.That's how you start to heal.
If you are broken up and he's on a dating site, it's time for you to move on too. Don't go on dating sites because you're in pain and it's too soon.
Look in the mirror and say positive things to yourself each day.
Limit Your Wallowing
Breakups suck, and its only natural to feel miserable (even if you dont take your feelings to pen and paper). The key is to limit the amount of time you let yourself think about the breakup every day, Sbarra says. Tell yourself, I can think about it for 30 minutes or an hour a day, or I can only think about it when Im at home. But when I leave home and shut the door, I have to shut the door on those feelings, too, he says.
Drawing the line (even if you cross it from time to time) will allow you to process your feelings while still making moving on a priority. (Splitting from your partner isnt only hard emotionally--it can also lead to physical pain. Learn What Happens to Your Body When Youre Heartbroken.)
Ditch the Reminders
See your ex everywhere you look? Get him out of your head by tossing his toothbrush, pictures, and anything else that reminds you of him, says marriage and family therapist Paul Hokemeyer. Research has also shown that staying connected to an ex on Facebook can stunt your breakup recovery, so drop whatever virtual connections you still have. (Remaining Facebook friends in itself isnt a problem, but checking his profile daily sure is. Learn more about Why You Should Unfriend your Ex on Facebook.)
Break a Sweat
Fight the urge for quality time with your couch and get at least some physical activity daily, Hokemeyer says. During a breakup, your brain pumps out cortisol, epinephrine, and other stress hormones that can cause headaches, tense muscles, and tummy troubles. Exercise, however, triggers the release of mood-boosting endorphins, relaxes muscles, and eases digestion to help you feel like yourself. (Stay grounded and reconnect with yourself by trying these Yoga Moves to Help You Get Over Heartache.)
Keep a Gratitude List
Every day, write down five things for which you are grateful. Use the list to ground yourself when you start to get overwhelmed by anger, fear, or sadness, Hokemeyer says. Research shows that writing down what youre thankful for can increase gratitude and feelings of wellbeing.
Give Back
Help others to help yourself. By increasing empathy, which makes you appreciate the good stuff in your own life, volunteering can boost your happiness, he says. Try not to smile when you are getting covered in puppy kisses! Whatever your interests, you can find a way to get your warm and fuzzies on at volunteermatch.org.
Schedule Girls Nights
You and your boyfriend might have broken up, but you arent alone. Spend time with your friends and ask for support when you are feeling down, he says. Besides helping you reengage in other non-couple activities and boost your self-esteem, research shows the simple act of hanging with friends can up your levels of the feel-good hormone oxytocin.
Compliment Yourself
Write yourself notes with positive affirmations like I am perfect the way I am. The physical act of writing them will enable you to shift your emotional state, Hokemeyer says. Put them up in your home, office, and car as constant reminders of how great you arebeau or no beau.
Eat for Your Mood
While a pint of ice cream and buttery popcorn can seem like the perfect post-breakup friends, research shows they can actually drag down your mood through the release of stress hormones, according to a 2012 study published in the International Journal of Obesity. However, foods rich in vitamin D, folate, and omega 3 fatty acids have been shown to promote mental health and cut rates of depression. (Back away from the ice cream and reach for one of these 7 Mood-Boosting Foods