Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
The last time my ex and i talked was last weekend. I had told him that i thought about things and was willing to be just friends because i want him in my life. He told me he was happy to hear that because he still cares about me. I told him if we are going to be friends i dont want it to be a one sided friendship. He told me he understood and promised that he wont be like that. I asked him how often i could talk to him because i didnt wanna over step my boundaries. He told me as long as hes awake i can text him whenever.
I asked him if he had started dating, he acted surprised and said "no not yet, why?" I told him i had a dream he was already dating someone but didn't tell me (I know i know, im an idiot for saying that. I regret it, trust me!) of course he didn't say anything after i said that. I told him that i wish him happiness and that i hope he finds his dream girl. He told me he wishes me happiness to. I then told him that i know his girl is out there waiting for him, just like my guys is out there waiting for me. He didn't respond back. This was this past Sunday that i wrote him that.
Cut to tonight, Friday, i get a random text from him saying he just wanted to say hi and hoped i was having a good week. I told him i hoped he was also having a good week. He said thank you and put a "kiss" emoji. He then sent another text saying "oops" and put a "winking face" emoji. Idk if he really accidently put that kiss emoji, or if he did it on purpose to see what i would say. I find it crazy that he texted me our of nowhere because since our break up a month agao, i was the only one to reach out to him.
I hate to admit this, but a part of me is hoping he is missing me and that's why he put that emoji. I find it weird that he claims he wants to be friends, but never asks how my life is going. He never asks any questions about me. Which then makes me think he doesn't care. Like when i asked if he was dating yet, he didn't ask if i was.
Does anyone have any idea what he might be thinking? I know, theres no way to know what he's really thinking unless i ask him, but i dont wanna push him away especially since we're only friends now.
I was doing so well after Sunday night. I deleted his number. Didn't have any urge to hear from him. I eveen told my friend to not bring him up because i was desperate to forget about him. No i'm over analyzing why he hit me up and why he sent that kiss emoji. Ugh, I'm just so confused. :(
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
But what is the healthier thing to do?
You can't be just friends with an ex right after a break up.
Why? Because there's always one person who cares more than the other person. The one that cares more, is the one who's clinging to hope, and by doing so...agreeing to terms that is really not good for your healing or moving on.
First of all, yes he still cares...but knowing that gives you hope. That's dangerous especially if you want him back. Then you ask him how often can you contact him...and well...you are pretty much saying...I will work around you.
Take this as an opportunity to show him how strong you really can be and really can live without him. If you are wanting him back, this approach will be much better for you than acting accomodating.
I had that same ex is dating someone new dream...and confronted him about it. He played it the same way. I found out months later that was actually true. Trust your instincts. Most men nowadays, don't break up with someone without having someone else lined up.
You seem like a very sweet and kind person. You wish him happiness...but don't stick around as a friend to watch that unfold...that's called torture. You have to get a point and go...who gives a fuck about his happiness...mine is the only thing that matters.
So he ignores you for a week and then texts you a random hello with a kissy wink accident. You are putting too much energy over analyzing an emoji. You are grasping at straws. Guys only text randomly when they aren't getting enough attn...and then ping the next person available to give them a shot of attn.
Look...we all know if we really missed someone...we can easily contact them and make our presence known. If he isn't his attn is elsewhere, and you need to put that hope to sleep. Otherwise you will waste more time, and become obsessed over every wink, text, and late night call.
Yes...he hasn't even asked anything about you...that's a big clue. Trust your instincts! Best advice is watch what they do, not what they say. Do their actions match their words? No...then you need to walk.
Do I have any idea what he may be thinking? Yes...I absolutely do. He's probably seeing someone else. But he's enjoying the attention of two people. He's not going to completely cut you off b/c if that other relationship doesn't work out...he can come crawling back to you.
So he throws crumbs at you. You have to to do what you did earlier. Delete his number and block his number. It will hurt like hell...and you are probably addicted in some form to him. Every time you want to text or call him, text someone else...watch a tv show...write a text out...and delete it.
Or even write your text, and then ask yourself...what am I hoping to come from me contacting him about this?
This man has stop putting effort towards any relationship with you and you have accepted this. Offering friendship is a last ditch effort to keep a lifeline going towards a sinking ship. Get off of it and spend time healing, grieving and find yourself a person who's willing to give you his full attention and love, and not crumbs of it.
You seem like an incredibly thoughtful and sweet person. You always give others the benefit of the doubt and probably see the good in others. Sometimes you have to check yourself and realize...some people don't deserve your kindness and all that you have to offer.
Remember, don't give your power away by settling in friendship or love. It took me the hard way to understand this, I've been in your shoes...and I'm sorry if I sound harsh or insensitive...but I would rather be upfront with you and save you some youth, grief, and wasted time.
Sending you light and love!
P.S. Thinking over and over about an asshole, makes you become an asshole to yourself! LOL Stop!
I thought about all the hurtful things he did to me. All the tears I’ve shed because of him and I realized IM DONE!! Yes we were together for 6 yrs but they were HORRIBLE 6 yrs...I just am now realizing that! I had blinders on for that whole time!
I do believe he is dating or at least talking to someone else! And it’s most likely his coworker, but I know that relationship is doomed because he has a lot of shit he needs to work out before being with someone. I gave him my all, but he couldn’t do me the courtesy of ending our relationship before going and having feelings for someone else. I know without a doubt I DESERVE BETTER!!
Thank you again for being so blunt! I really needed that!! EVERYTHING you said is exactly true!! I no longer want this guy in my life...I’m finally seeing that I’m happier without him and his hurtful drama!! :)
1 year later, when we started to really talk again, he said he was trying to keep this door open! I was pissed! When I cut off contact, he was stumped! Men have some shady ways of thinking. Be careful. You guys weren't married, and I'm assuming you don't have kids, so be friendly, but cut ties. He doesn't ask about ur life because in my opinion, he doesn't care. Be careful! U can be friends without personal info being exchanged.
05/11/2019
It sounds like you still have feelings for him. Be careful you don't get back into a situation that is not beneficial or healthy. You have to value yourself more. There was a reason why you divorced to begin with. Don't let your feelings talk to your heart, but guard it and value yourself more.