Letting go is my ultimate goal, its still too hard
With my ex, I need to be ready And willing to
truly hand him over to the care of God. I do pray
For him and i practice forgiveness.

The minister said i needed to hand him over and
Leave him there. No coming back, she Said that
was dysfunctional. I am not ready for that.

I will be very happy when i can truly do that. Its
A healthy goal to think about. I can get so blocked
when I think the word release with him. I still feel
He is accountable, I know i need to work that out.
HUGS

Forgiveness is ongoing. I have to practice it everyday. God knows our hearts, He loves those that seek Him and His will. It is hard to let go, I am really trying to capture my thoughts when they turn negative and instead focus on the grace of God and all His goodness. It has to be a conscious effort for me or I will sink into the pit.

I agree, i am not religious only spiritual.

Its still a long hard journey and i keep working
On me to get thru it. I do know what i need
To do. I have the tools. My heart and soul Are
very stubborn and wounded. HUGS

My ex has a tough time with my forgiveness and kindness towards him. He is not sure how to handle it and always thinks I have an ulterior motive. I continue to be kind knowing that I am a good person, true to myself, my children. I think sometimes, when we explode at our ex's or soon to be's, it takes some of the guilt away from them, i.e. it gives them justification for leaving usbecause we're just crazy, unbalanced, unhappy, miserable, etc. people. Of course, we know that's not true. They just don't understand how deep the cut is when they leave.

The high road is always better, then you don't have to have the remorse of saying hurtful things. My wife is in an extremely dark place and or no one else can fix that for her. She is running and pushing everything good out of her life. I wish that I could help, but she needs to hit absolute rock bottom on her own, no matter how many lives she destroys getting there. Something in her has completely changed. It helps my healing knowing that who she is now is not who I married.

Isn't that the truth that we all discover eventually. The person we originally married is not the person they are today. I know I wouldn't marry my ex being the person that he is today.

Its like she was taken over by aliens! It is just so strange to see your mate that you have spent half your life with over night turn into someone else. Like a switch was flipped. This week for me has finally been so much better. I think just making a decision, has put me in a right state of mind. I will be ok if it ends.

The fact that my ex wife became a totally different person and bailed out on the family after 24 years will probably be the reason I remain single ..i don't think I want to go through that kind of breakup again and really I came out of it financially ahead as she cheated and left virtually everything ..probably out of guilt. Not sure I want to risk that again...
As far as God goes there's too much sorrow and pain in the world for me to believe in some heavenly being watching over us but whatever floats your boat and gets you through

Kbbcoop77- without pain and suffering we could not appreciate the joy in life. There would be no perspective. We must remember that when we suffer from paralyzing emotional pain, if we choose, we will one day experience exhilarating joy!!!

Cleigh, I totally agree. It's been almost 3 years since my ex left and I'm light years ahead of where I was emotionally and financially ..i truly did enjoy the holidays with my kids and that's a huge leap from the early days of crying in the supermarket listening to Christmas Muzak..but the thought of tying myself to someone else is both exciting and terrifying. I came out of the last 24 year gig pretty much financially intact but it took over 2 years to emotionally heal..that first year was hell...HELL. I loved being in love but I'm 52 now and not sure I even want to go there again...I don't know..

At 49, i guess I won't say never but it would have to be a miraculous woman for me to take that risk again. My recovery is just beginning so that will not be a problem for awhile.

I'm with Kbbcoop and STex.

I'm 52, was married the one time, and it would take a very special person to get me interested at this stage.

I don't have the time, inclination, or heart for any more games and nonsense.

We have a lot of life left! We could actually end up with someone longer than the first marriage! At 50 we still have a good 30 years if not more in front of us. That being said I agree it would have to be one heck of an individual for me to risk my heart again.

Stex lol I was just talking to my cousin about that same thing that I could theoretically have another 24 relationship...that's pretty amazing considering how long that really is..so I'll never say never but she has to be really special to make that leap again..my father is on his 3rd marriage but he's the cheater so I don't have much sympathy for him lol

Thanks for saying that STex.

Seems like all the good people are at home alone hurt.

We're so over cautious, but who can blame us.

Eh, I'm just having one of those days.