Hmm, so he was just on his way to the post office and ended up on a dating site? Damn, I hate when that happens.

This man is a stranger to you. You have no clue who he is or what he was thinking as he texted you.

You're attracted to the dream you built up in your head. That's okay...you're a lovable person.

He, on the other hand, is a liar and cheat. NOT what you want in your life. Be glad that this was just a couple weeks out of your life. Feel sorry for his wife. Oh and do go get yourself checked out at the doctors. Chances of catching whatever he's got is low after only a few experiences...but it's there. His wife...may not be so lucky.

I just don't understand why I can't get him out of my head. I feel he was attracted to me or nothing would of happened when we met.

I agree with patti... I don't think it's HIM but the idea of him. I completely relate to not being able to get someone out of my head ( and almost getting obsessed) esp when I know the guy is bad news or he's gone MIA. And it sounds like you connected with him on some level. This guys is bad news though and you're better off just moving on with your life. I know it's hard but trust me it's for the best.

Okay, he was attracted to you...to be blunt...so what?

His attraction doesn't make you a better person...it doesn't. It really really doesn't.

If you don't feel attractive, do something to make yourself feel more attractive (and I don't mean clothes or hair). Get out. Accomplish something. Even if it's just holding the door for someone else. Then go buy yourself flowers. A glass of wine...good tea...good cheese...whatever is a reward to you (I'm super fond of good tea and cheese. Personally I hardly drink and don't really care for flowers.) Go to a restaurant and get a take out desert and eat it in the park. Take a class. Learn a language. If you like museums...go by yourself (personally I'd rather go by myself because then I can stop and look at something as long as I wish.)

Pick a book at random off of the best seller's list and read it. Be it romance or a how-to book, it will be something different than your same-old same-old.

Thank you. I feel like I am more attracted to him because I know I can't have him. I just wish I could get him out of my head. I miss our conversations and the thought of him texting me and telling me good morning.
I feel like I'm a bad person bc I met him even tho he said be was married but he stressed that he wasn't looking for a fling or hook up so I thought it was safe then things lead to another. Obviously he isn't happy in his marriage or he wouldn't of been on the website.

Married man goes on website, chats up available woman via texts, etc, says "I'm not looking for a hook-up or sex", but when man mets woman, sex happens (I'm assuming that's what "When we met things happened" means) and now he has gone radio silent. Wow, this guy plays the game well.

And BTW "Obviously he isn't happy in his marriage or he wouldn't of been on the website" is a lie also. He is a horny married guy and he got some. End of story. He is on the website to get laid. Whether or not "he isn't happy in his marriage" is completely irrelevant.

I performed oral sex on him. He was all over me. I feel horrible about it too. So your saying he used me and will move on to the next person

I'm confused. He told you he WASN'T looking for a fling or a hook-up, yet he's on a dating website and is married.......
What did you expect to happen?
When you found out he was married, why did you consent to meet up with him?

And yes, he used you and will move on to the next person. Stop obsessing about him simply because he's now unavailable to you. There is no allure or excitement in this man - trust me, if you ask his wife of 25 years I'm sure she could give you the total picture of what he's like to live with in reality.

Thank you. I guess I just really want to know which I know I will never know is if he just wasn't attracted to me after he seen me. I am trying to work on my self. Nothing on my profile was a lie and he is the one that made the first move.
Since he said he wasn't looking for a fling/hook up I figured it was safe to meet him. He says that he has another female friend that be met 18 months ago and hasn't seen her in a year but they still talk but he says they weren't like us.

Don't get hung up on if he found you attractive enough. Don't convince yourself his disconnection is about you or how you look. He was a guy simply looking for a sexual encounter. He lied right from the start when saying he wasn't looking for a fling/hookup. Block that guy from your phone. His actions have nothing to do with if he found you attractive.

Thank you. He would tell me how attractive I was and I just felt like after we met he felt different.

High ranking church officials are excellent emotional manipulators. They make a living selling invisible products from god to an afterlife, neither of which exists in my opnion. The kinds of churches that refer to their ranking members as elders rather than clergy are cults who prey upon weak minded and or emotionally vunerable people. To me they are the ultimate chicken hawks and when someone tells me they believe in this and that, it's nothing but a distraction to make people believe they are moral which immediately raises a red flag because you don't need to convince me. Morality is revealed through actions not words. These types of people condition their victims and specifically seek out those who they feel are perfect prey and it's all about their own selfish needs whether it's financial or sexual access to your children or your wife. The revelation of the Catholic church has been molesting children is not the exception it's the rule and it is not limited to the Catholics, but every church has its dark corridors about which people do not speak because they're either too emotionally invested in their own fictional salvation for rules they made up or borrowed from other predators. Its a dark structure of predation. I dont beleive in satan but if I did id say he worked as a preacher or a preist or an imam. Its about possession of people and using them for their own selfish gains. Theyre like parasites except they look like people and deal entirely in BS. Religious people make the biggest suckers. When someone says they are God fearing they believe they are saying they are righteous when really they are saying "I'm a sheep ready to get bent over and give you my fleece and I'll always come back for more because of the Corn you feed me" How nutritious is corn? It's just cellulose sugar and water, it is nothing. I'm not saying philosophically there aren't beautiful things in the world to revere as amazing and to see our place in the universe has both significant and insignificant simultaneously. Have a general sense that we truly do not understand where we came from, or where we are going. But organized religion answers these questions with lies and untruths and misguided philosophical distractions. Do you really think a bunch of wandering Warlords preaching genocide 2000 to 5000 years ago knew all the answers to the questions of existence? Stephen Hawking doesn't know Albert Einstein didn't know. The question is universal but the answers are all false. It is the questions themselves that are divine assuming Divinity even exists which again I do not believe the does. Turning to God is literally turning your back on the answers because you've already manufactured the answers so why ask the questions? Life is a never-ending Journey and there is no Dogma in the human race that correctly answers everything or anything for that matter. Life is about learning and experience, love and emotion, and everything, everything, everything is fleeting. You can do whatever you want to do and say whatever you want to say but it doesn't make it true or even right and for that matter morality is another fabrication of man that does not objectively exist and is not shared by all cultures. There is a tendency among the most deeply religious that the most basic human rights become negotiable. From murder and genocide of those outside the 'faith', to "marrying" (in some cultures meaning nothing more than sexual appropriation and possession) of children inside it. Circling back to the original topic when someone says a church Elder went against everything he supposed to believe in I am not in the least bit surprised I actually expect it. Stay the heck away from these predators, or better yet, out them and put them on blast. That's what the internet is for. Let the house of cards they have so carefully built about their reputations tumble because it's all bullshit. Did you want to ask about what are the true meanings of Life is, ask an atheist and they will tell you they don't know because that is the real answer. I never said the real answer was going to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside but warm fuzzies are moments you're supposed to spend with loved ones and your children and going on nature walks and seeing the beauty in the world it's not in a Dusty old book written by an imperialist Palestinian War Lord. Of course he told you he was good looking he was just petting your ego and getting you ready for whatever he had in mind and we already know what he had in mind. These are people we are talking about they are not gods they are not Angels they are not fairies they're not emissaries of a higher power they're just Predators who look like us and talk like us and sound like us. It is unfortunate that you ran into one of them that you have personally met one of the darker elements of humanity but that's exactly what you did. Now get the hell away from this person, before he turns you around any more than he already has. The good news is there are real people out there with actual virtue and values and honor. But unfortunately we are outnumbered or the world would be a more beautiful place free of violence and exploitation and Terror and suffering. Do you realize if adults could behave the way we expect kindergarteners to behave we wouldn't need police? You have been taken by a few kind words and even I myself have been exploited in my life, I told you life was a constant learning experience, now take this lesson to heart keep your eyes open and watch your back because the bad people are already watching your back. Regards -FG

Wow that was pretty long longer than I expected it to be period period period that's what she said LOL. I may be long-winded but I'm not without a sense of humor

I enjoyed that immensely familyguy.

Quite refreshing and freeing.

I'm so surrounded by people who dance around issues and reality.

Yes, I feel the truth setting me free...:)

OP in the words of Robert Palmer, you're addicted to love.

Your self esteem and worth rides on this guy's approval and acceptance of you.

That's bad news for many reasons, not the least of which is that your desperation and need is blinding you to what is painfully obvious to the rest of us.

You need to address those issues.

Counseling, self help groups, books...whatever strikes your fancy. But until you figure out why your allowing this treatment, you'll keep recreating the same crappy situation. The people will change, but the situation will keep playing itself out until you change YOURSELF

Unfortunately, you're exactly the kind of person these users are looking for.

And they're EVERYWHERE.