Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Early days/weeks of seperation

KaraM0303
KaraM0303

Hello all,


I am new here, but struggling with the early stages of seperation. This was brought on by my husband's depression/unheatlhy ways to deal with it (i.e. drinking, porn, reaching out to other women and meeting with them). This, my husband of almost 18 years with two kids. We don't fight, argue....


I am not here looking for advice for him. He has an action plan but will not follow it.


I guess I am asking for me and positive stories about how you handled it and how the pain will get better. DEAR GOD, the pain is unbearable at times. 


I am unable to eat, sleep, function as a normal member in society.


I am seeing a counselor and on anxiety medication currently. I thought this would be a place where I can share my feelings and hopefully hear from others.


Thank you!

hasty_05
hasty_05
All that you describe are normal feelings with a loss like this. Your husband made choices that my ex-husband made which ended our marriage at about 30 years. You will make it and your life will get better.

How do I know? Well, honestly it isn’t great to be married to a person disrespecting us like you describe. He shows you he can’t or won’t care enough at this time which means you don’t matter, the kids don’t matter, a huge blow to our egos and self-esteem. It’s not about us as being less-than or not good enough. It’s about THEM being less-than or not good enough. Addictions are not fixable by us.
SpeckledDoe
SpeckledDoe
I have been divorced since May 2025. We were separated one year before the divorce, and I can tell you the hurt and pain lingers a while. I guess it is grief. It is not easy, and I would suggest that if a marriage can stay together, it should. However, as in my case, my husband cheated and gave me the cold shoulder for almost a year. He didn’t want me around him, so I was forced to divorce. Check out my post “The Ultimate Betrayal” for more details on how it happened.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
I am reminded of the famous quotation: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." -John Lennon. Here's another thought for your consideration: Your spouse made a decision and took an action. Whatever their reasoning (or lack of reasoning), it isn't your obligation to make sense of their decision, or to rationalize or make peace with it. You also don't have to "react" to their action. Rather, this is your opportunity to ACT. You are unrestrained by obligations you previously had to your spouse. Recognize that, as you evaluate your options, and consider what is best for your children, you have the agency and control of ACTING - not merely reacting to the situation that your spouse put you in. Good luck to you.
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