we have a saying, well, an acronym

TINADS

this is NOT a dating site


maybe I'm missing the fun, but I've never chatted with anyone like that, nor anyone towards me.

you've found the Troll network, not any of the regulars that I'm aware of

So how do I find just regular people who want to chat? I definitely agree with the TINADS concept (I have to say, it was a little creepy)....
K

K-My suggestion is NOT to chat with anyone until you "get to know him or her" through the threads. I've been here since May and have only actually chatted with one person, that I met in person at a group meet-up before we chatted. Too often, random invitations to chat from names you may not recognize are Trolls, like geo mentioned. *waving* Morning, geo!
:)

Sound advice.. thanks! I am embarrassed to say I just didn't know the rules of engagement around this and was too trusting that we were all here for similar reasons... lesson learned.
K

Go to my account on the left hand side of the page. change your chat settings to include only friends. That way you won't get anything funny any more.
Don't worry happened to me too.
It does creep one out, but stick to chatting with those from your support groups and who are your friends.

Hi Kdmac, I did not have this chat experience either but I received one time an e-mail that was quite disturbing and I reported the screen name to DS and they disconnected that account. DS has been such a wonderful "home" with great people and I know that just like you and most of us we want to keep it as is: a place where we connect with friends that are out there to support us and we also give a hand when they need a friend. You find the link to report abuse all the way in the bottom of the screen.

Geo, you've never had that experience because you're not a woman with a picture of yourself as your avatar.

It's not complicated. If you're a woman, you have a photo of yourself as your avatar, and you're reasonably attractive, you're going to have random guys contacting you all the time. Some of them will be overly flattering and say you seem like a wonderful person. (Curious how men never get those messages from these guys.) Some of them will want to chat.

In addition to limited your chat capabilities to friends only, take down your avatar photo, kdMac. This is the internet. There are lots of creepy people around here who feel liberated to do all sorts of stuff they don't have the balls to do in person with a woman because they can hide behind the anonymity of their computer screen.

I have been approached a few times in chat. I actually turned my chat option off for awhile.

You can limit the chat to friends on your list, but that will not stop those from trying to engage, I know.

All you can do is be frank, (not Frank the scary clown either), but be frank with them, and just say "Sorry, that is not something I am here for or I accepted your chat to do." It's what I said, the convo last a little bit longer then we didn't speak again. She even removed me from her friends. I care? Nope. I am here for support and to give support. It is not a dating site.

Thanks everyone... another example why an amateur just shouldn't go playing with fire... I am taking your advice and will avoid the chat arena for now.
Best,
K

been here since jan 08 and that hasnt ever happened to me BUT i dont do the chat thing either

Keep as hidden as you can with your id.
A Lot of the info here can be googled and is out on the net.
I have been stalked by a women that started with chat. I gave out personal info and she showed up at my work and house. Yikes. So No personal picks of me out there or here any more. For the sex talk just move on. I waasnt interested in sex after just losing the women that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I feel that if I go there I want to make the intamate contact and move on from there. Not a few gross sentences shared with a stranger over the net. Nough said about that.
I make friends on the board and then move it to chat after a while. Be a friend to others in need. Offer them support and it will come back to you.
Besides a lot of the people here are single for a reason. This may not be a good place to meet an future spouse. The track record here for Long term relationships isnt so good.

Thanks Matt- I agree that this is not the place to "hook up"- and I am definitely not is the right space to even be thinking about dating/sex yet (I have only been separated for a little over a month). I was just really disappointed by my experience- and your story has really freaked me out (I did have my photo posted until Frank suggested I remove it)... It is so unfortunate that creeps infiltrate sites that are intended for providing mutual support- any a lot of folks on here are feeling pretty low and vulnerable right now (but I suppose it is no different than child molesters being on kids' sites). Oh well- I am certainly not traumatized- just bummed out!

Thanks everyone for educating a rookie!
Best,
K

Wait! This ISN'T a dating site??

Just kidding. I have never had those offers, but if I did, I would report them to someone.