Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Don't know what to do

WoeIsMe88
WoeIsMe88

My husband and I have been married for 7 years. In that time I have always been the breadwinner working 40hrs a week.  I have always done all the housework and laundry. I have literally raised my daughter alone. He doesn't spend any time with her or teach her things... It's like he doesn't want us in his life. I have multiple times gotten the strength to leave. The last time he took me to court and had a lawyer which he knew I couldn't afford. His mother paid for the lawyer. He has never ever had a full time job and is currently unemployed. I have severe depression and have been hospitalized. I don't leave because I won't have anyone to take care of my daughter while I'm at work and my mom lives an hr away from my work I am also afraid that he will try and get custody of her. My mother has wanted to take my daughter from me to "give me a way out". My daughter is my life and the only reason I am still alive. I am her girl scout leader I try to do as much with her as I can and I provide for her. I feel like I'm a bad mom. I feel completely alone. He tells me I am useless and worthless and that he has no respect for me. I don't understand and I really want to leave but I dont have enough to Leave and get my own place, not without taking my daughter out of school. I don't want to live with my mother because she is just as controlling. I just Want to find somewhere my daughter and I can live on our own. I feel like we would both be much happier. She's getting older and I can't have him destroying her life too. 

OlderCPer
OlderCPer
Your daughter having to change schools is not the worst thing in the world. Kids adjust to change pretty quick. I've been in a marriage where I had to do everything from bring in the paycheck, to raise my boys, difference between me and you, I stayed for 25 years before I'd gained enough courage to leave. I told myself I couldn't do it on my own, I couldn't take care of my (then) 11 yr old on my own...the thing was, I was already doing it on my own. My ex was a functioning alcoholic who couldn't hold a job for more than a couple months or was constantly trying 1 get-rich scheme after another. He was good at spending the money I made to care for our sons and our home. One day something just clicked and I had it, and I left. I took my 11 yr old and move into town, only 15 min. away, but yes my son had to change to city school's and he survived.

Sometimes you have to do what you know is right, and raising your child in the proper atmosphere where they can learn what kind of adult to be and know that they are always safe and loved is definitely right. You already know that. Its not easy to go out on your own, but things work out.

Take care and be courageous, remember doing the right thing is not always the easy thing, but it's the most important.

Kat
CanaryMa
CanaryMa
You will find your path, just keep visualizing the right arrangement for yourself (but without Mr. Too Good to Try to Work Hard).
Gutted
Gutted
You need to find an attorney, you can afford. There are some out there willing to take pro-bono cases or attorneys that are based on your income.

The bottom line is we do what we must to make our lives something worth living. Your husband wouldn't have lasted a full month in my life. He's still laying around your place, not working and letting his mommy leverage you into supporting him because you allow it.

You're stronger and smarter than him and your mother put together. Figure a way out of this situation by prioritizing what's most important. Let me point out that getting rid of the deadbeat husband is at the top of the list. You have ample reasons to divorce him.
Begin making a list:
-He does not provide material support for the family.
-
-

Get it done!
WoeIsMe88
WoeIsMe88
Thanks for the support. I'm just so scared he's gonna take me to court and tell them that I am unstable because I've tried to kill myself and been hospitalized. When you have an infant and your doing everything you can and he won't even take out the garbage... Yeah I broke down I thought she was better off without me and she was too young to know the difference. I just want to live free from abuse I want a warm home I want dinner I want someone to scrape the ice off my car before I leave for work or wake my daughter up so I can take a shower. I wish he would just be my partner in life instead of being treated like a slave. And it makes me feel even more crazy because he tells me that I treat him like a slave. I know it's not true because he really does nothing to help me but it doesn't make it hurt less. I'm just so sad
happyonislands
happyonislands
Hang in there! This is a difficult situation. Leaving your daughter, even with your mother, can be emotionally challenging. However, you are a wonderful mom! Think about all the things you do for your daughter and most of all, you provide with love, a mother’s love, that is priceless and cannot be replaced.
Good luck! I wish you all the best.
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