My wife and I have been separated for almost three months. When I came home from work, she left me for another man and is currently living with him in another state. She left me a note saying that we weren't happy together. For those two weeks, I have been blaming myself, thinking what I have done to her to make her unhappy. I realized I wasn't emotionally there for her and I will shut her down when we argue. I know because of that, I was not a good husband to her. But even though I acknowledge my faults in the marriage, I soon accepted the fact that it did not justify her for leaving me for another man. She still could have asked for a break, sleep in separate rooms, live with a friend or family, but not with another man. She met this man at a layover at an airport. I asked if she loves the man and she said she does.

After the first two weeks, my wife and I communicated. I told her I understood why she was unhappy, and I told her it didn't give her reason to leave me for another man. My wife said she acted irrational and wanted to come home because she still loves me. I told her I forgave her and accepted what happened. I really do want to give my wife a second chance. We talked about our future, going to counseling, and about having a child. My wife wanted to tell the other guy that she was going to come back home and wanted me to come pick her up. As I was driving to the other state, she was talking to the other guy. Then she texted me, asking why it took her to leave for me to want to try again. Then she started mentioning my faults and compared me to the other guy. This really upset me and I wanted to turn around and head home. But if this was going to be the last time I see my wife then I was going to go see her. By the time I reached the state, something told me to go home. But I continued. I drove to where she was staying and I got to see her. I cried. She looked beautiful. We walked and talked about our problems, what we needed to do to change. She asked if she stayed at her dad's if I would give her time. I said yes, because that is what I suggested to her many times. She was still confused and needed to be somewhere where she could think clearly what she wants. When I went to my hotel room, she texted me saying she was going to borrow the other guy's car so she could have a way to get around town. I knew that was wrong because all it did was give her a reason to go back to him. I told her I was heading home and that I hoped she found what she was looking for.

A week after that, she emailed me saying she wanted to have a future with me. She had to go back to the other guy's place to get her stuff and tell him. After that she told him, she said she was ready to go home and asked if I would come pick her up. Against all my friend's and family's advice, I still went. But she texted me again and said she was not ready and that scared her. She didn't want me to drive all the way to have me turn around. I told her I couldn't do this anymore and told her to stay with him and be with him. She said she understood I couldn't take it and that she was sorry. She said she panicked. I asked her what she really wanted and said still me. I broke off communication with her for almost a week. Her father contacted me to let me know that she was going to move all her belongings to his place in, with possibly the plan for her to stay at her dad's. Then my wife texted me asking if I would still let her come home. I said yes. And she said thank you. She was supposed to go on a Wednesday, but she caught the flu from one of the other guy's kids. I just don't know if she is actually sick or not and afraid to be truthful to her father. She doesn't know that her father and I had talked.

During my recent therapy session, with the guidance of my therapist, I texted my wife to see how she was doing. We made small talk, and I asked her if she was still afraid of us. She responded somewhat, but that she knows I still love her. I asked if there was anything I can do to lessen the fear and she said that I already was. I let her know if she wanted to talk that I was there for her and responded: "thank you."

I am still in love with my wife and I still do want to give it another chance. But I'm also ready for divorce, but I'm on the fence on that. She is still living with the other man and I don't know how much more time I can really give her for her to leave him and go to her father's. I know if she really loves me, she would have left him and just went back home. But I just don't know how she really feels anymore and the more time passes, the less trust I will feel if she comes back.

I wonder if anyone on this post have had this experience. If there is any hope of a second chance. And looking for advice.

Thanks.