Don't put so much pressure on yourself to date just because he is. You do you. Take care of you. I've done that self torture thing too and nothing good ever comes from it, looking at the FB. My husband left 4 years ago, and today I finally cleaned out all the old bill stubbs and papers from the file cabinet that had his name on it. Took a while, but I feel much better. You will too. Concentrate on things that relax or distract your mind and take you to another place. Do you like to read, or do anything artistic or music related? Create some new memories. Do something fun with your kids. I really think you are being hard on yourself and need to be patient with your mind set. You are mourning a loss, not just the loss of him, but the loss of the life you thought you were going to live with him in the picture. It's tough to get past when you create a life and find out that someone didn't have the same plan as you. That's something real to mourn. Don't lose yourself in the mourning, start recreating yourself. You can do it.
All the best. Hugs.

Good Question and I understand how you feel - why can he move on and you can't? - well, this is how we see it - I may be off - but...some people get stuck on another human being and act almost like they are addicted to this person - like life ends if this person is no longer around - like out of a trillion habitants on the planet ONE person is the only one good for us, or the only we can love, or the one that drives how we feel about ourselves - "SELF" -esteem - MEANS HOW YOU view yourself - you run that - not him - so him wanting you or wanting another woman has nothing to do w/how you see yourself - so if you get that in your brain - that might help you. Not judging you - I know it's easier said than done - but if you really step away from the situation - and you look at it from a realistic stand point - it is not that bizarre to get over a person and move on or fall in love with a new one.

If you don't feel ready to date - don't. Give yourself time - you'll know when you are ready. In the meantime, be kind to yourself - take long baths, get yourself a cute little outfit - new hair cut, whatever makes your feel beautiful again - don't leave that up to some loser - it's your job to feel good about yourself.

Please cheer up - start feeling good about yourself and about life again - life is too short to allow ONE person to control so much.

Thank you!

I think i am addicted to him in a way. Considering he has a new person in his life and i do not, I do a lot of questioning and comparing. Its not good i know, but its hard not to.

Im scared to death here. I have never had to go on alone like this. Im scared that he was my last opportunity for true love/happiness. In our breakup situation, it didnt need to happen. we were happy 95% of the time. We could have made it work. Our stubborness is what kept us apart. Him never looking back is what has prevented a reconciliation. I wonder If i let the best thing in my life just slip away. Now he has found happiness in someone and I cannot seem to find anyone. Maybe i put out a desperate vibe I dont know, but I can say that 1 year with only 2 dates and no one in the near future just scares me.

I understand I put all this in my own head and I am the one to cause this depression. He hasn't done anything. I just am in a rut.

I know how that fear feels - but you thinking that it could have worked out and you having the desire, isn't enough. He has to feel the same way. So with that being said, even if he was the best thing in your life - he no longer is - so you have to find meaning to your life outside of this ONE individual.

I also understand the part of now having too many dates or feeling like you'll never meet anyone again - but right now sounds like you should work on letting go of this person before you even worry about meeting anyone.


Work on your healing and on no longer being depressed - you can't date anyone new till your life is back in order.

I can relate to how you are feeling. Try not to beat yourself up. And dont rush into dating either just because he is. Its nothing worse then going out with a jerk on a date to make you feel even worse and miss your ex more, you know. This whole thing is a process. I to have never had such a difficult time with a breakup, and that sick feeling in the stomach trust me alot of us feel that. I did yesterday.

I am still on my journey to feel better but what I can say to you is just know you are not alone in how you feel and your feelings are valid. My ex has moved on and I dont look for any signs of who he is with , or how she looks. I am sure she is amazing because he woudl not date less but I dont look. So try not to look at FB. As one of my DS friends told me and I so agree with him. Ignorance is bliss.

Hang in there (( hugs ))

I imagine this has to be so hard:( I would try really hard to not look at his fb or any contact you are making it harder and that makes it take longer to heal. Try to occupy yourself with things for you things you enjoy. I even considered books to kinda help also haven't found ones I really want yet. I hope it gets better for you....

One day at a time. One step at a time. Don't beat yourself up for small setbacks.

These words are also advice to myself. Men jump into new relationships quicker than women because men usually get treat better.

Take your time but still allow yourself to mingle. The more quality ppl we surround ourselves with, the less time we have to worry about the past & feel bad about ppl who's not worth our time.