It is normal to still have those feelings but it's up to us to make the best of it and move forward day by day. I don't know if we will ever know why it happened but we can hold our heads up high knowing they are the ones that have to carry the guilt of the break-up of the family. Everyday we are 1 day closer to healing and move on from there. HUGS

The ups and downs seem endless, but the ups get longer and the downs shorter.
I still want to know "why"--I know he changed, into someone completely self-absorbed... but why did he have to change?
I don't think we ever get a real answer to the why. All we can do is look to ourselves and see what we can better in us, while still being kind to ourselves and allowing ourselves to heal.
(((aditi)))

I still have those feelings myself, evedn though I'm moving forward I still wonder why, I want to know the when, the where, the how it happened. I've been having more better days days and less of those down days. I'm also anxious and nervous about the future, rethinking my goals and dreams. Take one day at a time, take care of yourself, we can't change them but we change ourselves. ((((HUGS))))

For me, the hell ended just when I really could not take it any more. Just when I thought I would seriously lose the last tidbit of sanity.

There were still rough and difficult moments, but the absolute worst part lasted 4-6 weeks. I now can say "only" but at the time it felt like an eternity.

All your thoughts are normal.

((((HuGS))))

I call them "flare ups". I have them too. They become far less frequent, and they seem to also lose their duration as time goes on. XoXo. Be well.

It's all part of the "healing" process. It is completely normal. Keep moving forward! Look towards the future! You will be OK! (((Hugs)))

I still get scared post divorce about the future. However, it makes you stronger and creative all rolled up in one :)
I make poverty level money which scares me as I have feet issues and I stand for a living. My determination to NOT live off the government has opened new avenues I never thought possible and am making passive money to supplement my income. I know without a doubt I will be just fine.
My ex on the other hand makes a six figure income and is ready to live on the streets. In my case, I rescued myself and do have a bright future :)
Hang in there and let your creativity flow ((((((Hugs))))))))

It gets better. Once the divorce is final and you know exactly what you have and what you can afford you can chart out a plan. You will feel more in control and less anxious about it. (((HUGS)))

I'm just 3 months in and asking myself this very question...

Its thankgsgiving here this weekend, and the kids and I will spend it alone for the first time ever.

It just happens that the kids sports won't allow us to go to my family, and we don't have stbx either.

It has caused me to spiral down again, but I also know that the downward slides are getting farther apart.

Just keep telling yourself - YOU WILL BE OK - YOU WILL BE OK - when those thoughts come to you. Retrain your brain.

Positive reinforcement brings positive results. It's hard, but if you catch yourself and force yourself - it works. It really does. Here's to a happy YOU!

You bounce back / thats whats happends . Now you are your owne person so look at it that way. No sugar coating it an complaining . Do wahts good for you. Not to worry right?

Yeah! Not to worry--thanks all. Its 4 in the morning--still dark outside--but can't sleep... yet, on coming here to DS , I see how much support there is! So, I should go back to sleep knowing I am not alone !! :)