Well, reliving an unhappy or unpleasant or unbearable moment is def not a good thing - maybe try to make sure you do something diff next year this time? My transport back in time to unpleasant moments tends to be way more random and unexpected, so I don't have any better advice - when I do the backwards-in-time thing, it is so unexpected, so maybe it will be easier for you, you can plan for it :)

getting worked up on anniversary dates of traumatic experiences or big losses is perfectly normal

it happens to people who are now ex's, surviving family members after a death, even car accidents, miscarriages...all sorts of things

and what's interesting is, they happen even when the meaning of the date is outside of your awareness ( your subconscious hard at work - ugh)

its normal, and it almost always passes in a day or two

Waving hand over here and YES I just had a weak moment yesterday. I did the exact same thing you did. Relived the day over. I will have to probably a few more times when we go to court but I wanted to wait till those days come but nope I think it has been a few times I thought about it in the past year. I like you do not want to remember it if I do not have to but I now think it is normal. Nostalgia is the norm as my counselor would say. I just again thought about it then let it go till the next time. I am hoping it will be far and fewer as the months go by. Hugs..

the same thing happened to me in 1981. the shock is horrible. but, after a few years, that all faded into the past - thank goodness.

hang in there. try not to dwell on it to much. eventually you will heal and it will be a very distant ineffective memory.

you know who you are and how valuable really are. there are many people in the future that you have not met yet who will be touched by your compassion for them. don't let this keep you down for long. :)

How ironic - April 16, 2005 was my wedding date! I relive that same day, too - will have been divorced 2 years this coming May 17th. Will relive that day, too...... I think it is absolutely normal, but I am sorry for the pain it causes you (and me) :) They say it gets easier - we shall see....hugs to you

I hope so. I am getting sick and tired of stressing over this ordeal and remembering dates and things when I am so SURE he completely forgot about me and us and even who I am. that hurts

I think death dates hit me harder than my anniversary does. I think knowing that the anniversary date no longer actually holds siginficance anymore makes it easier for me to not really care. Maybe it's screwed up to say, but I'm glad I have one less day in my calendar I have to buy a present for.

Anyhow, my divorce date I relish. The 28th of ever month, like today, I think " I have been free for one year and 4 months" etc. Maybe it's a matter of perspective...letting the date keep me down keeps me tied, and i'm enjoying being free.

Ahh, you guys are taking this kind of hard. I don't even really remember any of the bad things. I remember a lot of the good things though.

I guess I'm just more positive than negative. Heck, I don't even remember the exact date I kicked her out and I don't remember the date when she came back and cried because her mom told her I was getting remarried.

Yes I find I do look back and remember what was good and what was bad about the relationship...Sometimes it is little things that bring it up and then I find myself upset or else smiling at something good...you are normal...I promise

I know how your feeling, it's like joyride said in reply #2 when we go through things we tend to remember them even if we don't want too. I also know what you mean about him not remembering, for me it kind of falls also with not caring. once they don't care they wont remember and even if they do they won't do anything about it.

I have never forgotten that date, 12-10-72. That was the day that I had to leave to live. Even through all the savagery, the stabbings, and the other attempts on my life, I hated to leave the one that was my high school sweetheart. She was the only girl I had ever dated. I met her when she was a 6th grader.

Life has some very tough times, many sad times and some very bad times. I doubt very seriously if she remembers when it was. I was made out to be the bad guy. I was the one who left. If I was the bad guy, why was she known as "the town slut"!!!!!!!! It has been over 40 years and I still hear things I did not know, back then!!!!

Wow your story is so close to mine. He left me in 2010 and divorce in oct 2011. I came home to find him gone no note but he called to say he wouldn't be there. I so feel that pain of that day or other days that were special to us. I cry and don't feel like leaving the house or even talking to anyone on those days. Then i think why am i letting him control my day? I think we need to make those days our own. Do something special and make a new memory for that day! It is super hard i've been trying to but i'm still working on it. I guess that to will take time! (((Hugs)))