Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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jasper97 06/04/2008

My wife of 9 months and partner for 21 years told me 2 months ago that she was leaving me and had found someone else.We have 2 children together !

I was devestated for the first 2 weeks then thought - No, I deserve better than this and have been positive and strong ever since - I have joined a gym, I'm doing all the things I've always wanted to do like learning to play guitar.

So 95% of the time its all good - problem is, theres the odd quiet moment when I feel scared about the future - I'm 39 years old - both my parents have passed and I only have 1 sister and a cousin that I am close to. All my friends are married with kids and planning their futures but It's difficult to plan when your on your own.

My wife has moved into her own flat and it was decided that i stay in the home as I can afford the mortgage and running costs, so I am in a good position really. But does anybody else get scared when they look to the future ?

Tony

Jlhorlando 06/04/2008

Yeah, I have my odd moments also, but I have faith in myself that I can take on anything. And I will!!!

deleted_user 06/04/2008

Yes, Tony, I'm scared all the time. I think it's natural and will lessen with the passing of time. You're not alone in this feeling.

veeachjay 06/04/2008

I get very scared as I look to the future. My parents are both deceased, too, and all my holidays have been spent with my in-laws. I feel very alone plus I have huge a financial burden that weights me down every day. I know I have to have faith that God is going to get me through this, but it's very difficult at times.

deleted_user 06/04/2008

Yup...you are not alone. When I met my wife two years ago. I retired from the Air force. So when I moved in with her and stayed home to help the kids, I didn't do anything but my little side business. Well, we broke up and she divorced me. So I am on my own for the first time ever. I mean, I was a kid until 18, then joined the military. So I had someone to hold my hand until I was 38. Then I met my wife and she took the reigns. I didn't live off of her, I paid my share. But since I am divorced now. I am lost. I am afraid of my future as I do not have anything to grasp on to... I lost my home, my wife and her kids...everything.

So I know how you feel as far as scared. All I can say is hang in there and get some support here on DS. Its helped me alot for my healing. I am less scared and depressed from all the friends here. Good luck, it will get better!!

MsBlank1 06/04/2008

I'm 47 ...two sick elsderly parents that live over 700 miles...no sibling...one crazy cousin that I talk to.My health is failing...and I'm planning for the future,but sometime I still get scared...but I know I will be fine...just hard to hush that voice at times

deleted_user 06/04/2008

Hi Tony, I think we all have moments of being frightened especially if we spend any time at all over thinking everything. You have done an amazing job of getting things settled in a short amount of time, and most of the time you are content with where you are at this moment. It is natural to wonder or think if you will find someone to share your life with as you are pretty much alone, but you are young, and are getting out . If you want to have someone else in your life when you are ready , you will.. If you make sure that you are completely healed, love yourself, treat yourself well and live well. A woman or many women will find that irresistible and you may choose one of them to start your new life with. You still have your children to concentrate on now, and may want to join a meetup.com group to meet other singles with the same interest as you.. You really sound like you have it together and one day when you want another, you will have her.. Hugs to you, Kimmee

deleted_user 06/04/2008

Yes, I get scared sometimes but I know God has a plan for me. Just remember try to stay postive through it all. Hugs for you and take care!!

patti22 06/04/2008

Yes, more in the beginning but occationally still now. Honestly though, even married I sometimes had those thoughts too. Just part of life to worry about the future sometimes.

deleted_user 06/04/2008

sometimes

deleted_user 06/04/2008

Oh yes - try looking at it from 50,,,,,

deleted_user 06/04/2008

I get scared all the time too Tony,, but then I go to the grocery store and spend about 1/3 of the amount that I did when my cheatin STBX was in charge of the monies!!! So then I extrapolate and realize,, I will be able to make this work,, albeit, it's bleach and water and no more 45 different cleaners for 45 different items!!!!

hurtinandhealin2560 06/04/2008

I get scared too. The financial stuff doesn't scare as much as the emotional stuff--will I learn to trust again? Will I meet someone? I'm really working hard on me right now, but these thoughts are still there in the back of my mind and come roaring to the front when I'm blue and alone. I think it's just a normal part of the process.

deleted_user 06/04/2008

I hve my moments when I feel like a Warrior and I know I can take on anything that comes my way. Then mortality kicks in, I realize Im not the same young beautiful 21 yr old I was when I met my stbx... start thinking if 12 yrs didnt work out.. why the hell bother investing that kind of time with someone else that wont work.. IIll never let myself get this disappointed and hurt again..

Then the thought of never having that feeling I once had again makes me break down.. I miss the friendship, the laughs, the inside jokes, and to never let that in again.. petrifies me..

Very confusing time

deleted_user 06/04/2008

more than I like to admit

deleted_user 06/04/2008

yes. All the time. I was VERY dependant on him, and now I am only dependant on myself. It scares me. It's hard. But I will make it.

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