Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So here is my brief history. Married 14 years. Two kids 13 and 10 both girls. Wife had multiple emotional affairs with different guys ranging from a guy who is now dead. A convicted murderer and my alcoholic dead beat ex best friend. Anyhow.
My stbx works midnights. Sh moved out about 6 months ago. My kids are with me 5 nights a week. I have cut every financial corner I can. The deed to the house i live in is in both our names. But mortgage is in hers. I am paying apothegm bills we paid with two incomes on mine. I give my kids all my time but they have basically nothing living with me. Other than what is here. I cant even afford to get them school clothes. This weekend they are at my moms. And I have been thinking and I cant do this anymore. Infeel like such a failure. Anyway has anyone else ever felt this way?
My stbx works midnights. Sh moved out about 6 months ago. My kids are with me 5 nights a week. I have cut every financial corner I can. The deed to the house i live in is in both our names. But mortgage is in hers. I am paying apothegm bills we paid with two incomes on mine. I give my kids all my time but they have basically nothing living with me. Other than what is here. I cant even afford to get them school clothes. This weekend they are at my moms. And I have been thinking and I cant do this anymore. Infeel like such a failure. Anyway has anyone else ever felt this way?
feeling like a failure is a sign that a person is too stressed and that excess stress has to be removed. so, instead of taking it personally, see it as a reminder that your system is working normally and trying to help you identify the problem so that you can fix it with the help of others. :)
Lose the mortgage. One cannot do the financial work of two. There will be 3477 reasons you will give yourself to keep the house, biggest one being "this is the kids home". Sell it, move and there will be a new home.
You can't carry that math. You still need some sort of life.
do what you will with the cards you have been dealt
best of luck
but, somehow we have to stay calm and remember that there is a trick to everything in life. there is the hard ways and there there are the easy ways.
think creative. think practical. think of what you want and how everyone can win. then, sit down and start writing down your ideas. get ideas from other sources. decide dreams. create a plan.
read what other sudden single parents have done to solve the same problems that you are experiencing to get ideas from.
this is your chance to really shine both to yourself, your children, and other single parent dads.
I know a lot of people who have felt like failures from time to time, of course so have I, but things get better, and you see the positive side, like your 2 beautiful girls who are depending on you.
I wish you the best!!!! Things usually have a way of working out.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
we have tons of role models who have already proven that any problem can be solved and happy homes can be created with practically nothing.
if they did it, we can do it too.
If you can't afford the house....don't try. I know too many people who tried and regretted it.
If you sell, you'll split what's left (if anything) of what's been paid off already. The selling costs will be essentially split between the two of you.
Nothing wrong with an apartment. No lawn or bushes to cut. No snow to shovel. Less hassle with repairs.
Or buy a smaller house, or duplex....small yards ROCK. While you're at it, move closer to work...less driving expense.
now, i have the easiest apartment life in the world. :)