Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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only2bestrong 12/27/2011

Its been a while since I have been on. So much has happened. The ex boyfriend is still with the person he left me for. I have been talking to this older guy and we both agreed we weren't ready for a "serious" relationship. So we have pretty much done our own thing for about the last 6 months. He has dated 2 other women and both of those relationships ended quickly. I started to get really close to him.
He has started dating someone that he met at the bar about 5 weeks ago. They both say they are in "love". I seen on FB that he bought her a dozen roses for their 1 mo annv but what I have came to figure out is he came to my house after they started dating. She is a bar tender also part time and I have heard she is a partier. I haven't called him in almost 3 weeks but could she be the one?

deleted_user 12/27/2011

Wow. That's such a general question.

Just because someone happens to be in a bar doesn't mean they can't sustain a healthy relationship. Maybe someone happened to be in a bar having a holiday drink with old friends...or happened to be there to grab a bite to eat.

If she frequents bars, yes, that could be a red flag..but perhaps she can settle into a life at home with a loved one.

Meeting and having a relationship with a "regular" at a bar is risky... I know this from personal experience.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

how about instead of snooping, you just ask him.
i am not sure why you would want a man like this in your life anyway - but since you do and he seems important to you, ask him.
if you havent talked to him in over 3 weeks maybe leave well enough alone and move on to someone else and stop snooping. just think of all the energy that its taking away from your life trying to find out about a man who has moved on anyway.

xoxo

deleted_user 12/27/2011

She could be the one. Any girl he meets up with could be. Don't wait around for it not working out though. Think it's best to move on also.
(This is only my opinion) Good luck

deleted_user 12/27/2011

Who knows if she could be the one? I think a better question for you to ask yourself is if HE is the one? Do you want to invest your feelings in this relationship? Is it worth the pain and questions? I wish you peace of mind.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

I too was struck by the huge investment of time you made into finding out about his personal affairs when you both agreed it was a 'light' relationship/acquaintance. I'm being totally honest in saying that, while I was reading your post, I found your actions to be borderline stalking. Really. He isn't accountable to you. You're acting as if he is.

only2bestrong 12/27/2011

Ok guys I am not stalking his FB he doesnt even have one and for hers I am friends with a guy that hangs out with her at the bar. She posted on his wall she is so much in love with..... And that is how I found out who she is. I feel like he just used me and really was looking for a relationshp but I ust wasnt the one I just wish he would of been up front with me about it. The weekend they met he called me at 3am bc he was fixing to go to jail for DUI so I went and got him. I just really feel like he did me wrong is all. I was just simpling asking is bc everytime he breaks up with someone he calls me and if it was to happen today i am sure i will not be strong enough to tell him where to go because I do care for him. My friend that knows her said she is a party girl and works as a bar tender p.t.

only2bestrong 12/27/2011

And I failed to mention he just got out of a 17yr marriage back in June. His wife cheated on him with my BF. So that is why we both agreed to take things slow and not rush into anything. That is why I was shocked that he found someone so quick and having a serious relationship after what we were put thru.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

if you agreed to nothing serious...then what he does is none of your business...plus w/the history of your bf and stuff....sounds like youre looking for drama...just saying....also...read here how many people relate their stories of emotion rollercoasters ,etc....if hes only been separated since june and has dated multiple ladies...does he that sound right to you ?really...

deleted_user 12/27/2011

She could be the one, but I doubt it. In fact, I'll l bet no if someone wants to bet the other way. And not because it started at a bar that has nothing to do with it. I'm betting that he's a guy who likes the shine. Dating is fun and easy. Struggling through life with another is hard and removes a lot of shine from the lover.

deleted_user 12/27/2011

a DUI? Sounds like he's doing you a HUGE favor!

deleted_user 12/27/2011

Never met a girl in a bar.

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