Well mine refuses to come to my place unless he has to. ANd I will not enter his home for anything unless I absolutely must. And then I will knock and only come in if the door is opened for me(even though it used to be MY home).

I personally think it is necessary to keep those boundries.

We have never actually been rude to each other though.

He knows no boundaries- you have to set them.
My 1st ex NEVER entered the home- and if I invited him in (to look at sons new pets, etc) he is very pensive. That's really how it should be.

My xgf handled it very well. When the ex came to pickup the kids, he walked up to the door and waited outside. When he dropped them off he didn't even get out of his vehicle.

My ex also thinks its okay to come in. What he does though is tells my daughter "When we get to Mommy's house, we will play a game." Then I have to either cooperate or be the bad guy.

I've already caught him going through receipts on my desk when he's been in the house. He claimed he was "looking for paper to write something down." But when I produced paper, I was "I don't need it anymore". Does he really think I'm that stupid?

I still have to play nice for now. Just waiting for Sept 6th so I can get him to sign the consent to the divorce...

wow, I'm glad I'm not alone. But I"m sorry for all of us who have to put up with this.

My kids invited my into his (formerly ours) home once, to see a large birthday gift. I got to see just how unkept, messy and poorly decorated it is now that I am gone! They wanted him to see their new bedrooms here, and he seemed bothered by how nice my new place is! Now he comments and says things like "when I finish my basement you can play in it like in Mommy's nice basement" and " we will finish the yard soon, so it will be like Mommy's" I get some satisfaction from that. Let him see just another part of what his cheating has done! Normally though, it is pick up and drop off outside the door.

From the beginning, I wanted my kids to feel that their dad was welcome in their home within reason. When we first separated, we were on very good terms and he would come in and kiss them goodnight or look at a project they were doing, or whatever. Now we are not on such good terms but he still comes inside the door when he picks up and I do the same. It just feels wrong to me to give my kids the impression that their other parent is so horrible that he is not even welcome in the threshold of my door. Now, I have told their dad that if he has continued episodes of losing his temper with me when he comes in, he will not be welcome to come in. But so far, we are generally remaining civil, so the doorway, at least, is fair territory.

That's how I feel, the doorway should be fair territory. Yesterday it was drizzling and the kids were taking so long to get going, he got some paper towels and started wiping the floor. How do you go from one extreme of threatening to take me to court to cleaning my house?

Many years ago when I left my XH I let him come in and wait for the kids while they finished supper and he stole from me so after that he was never allowed in the door at all.
I don't think it's right that your X is coming in and wandering all through your house.
I would tell him to wait at the door...outside.

We aren't quite there yet, because we are still living in the house, but in separate bedrooms. He locks his bedroom door to me and our son (so our son doesn't catch him doing his drugs) and then he gets upset with me for keeping my bedroom door locked when I'm not there. I don't want him in my business or in my room. It will be interesting to see him deal with the boundaries I set once we reach that stage. He wants the best of both worlds. I don't think so.

@ mystie -- well, he violated a trust to that is not unreasonable to bar him after what he did.

@mim77 There is a particular satisfaction to knowing that isn't there? LOL Good on you for maintaining a nice CLEAN safe place for your kids.