Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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llmt 04/12/2010

Here's the scenario....I went to the Baltimore Meetup...which I had a blast at by the way...met some great people and of course saw the old ones which I love. But I find out yesterday from my 6 year old that daddy had HER over the house, along with a friend of ours. I have told him I don't want her in MY house. WTF, the lack of respect. I have told him....what more can I say. I am so fucking upset yesterday and today about this ( and to boot it's a Monday) but I can't even say a thing to him. Obviously that doesn't do any good. Maybe he thinks I still don't know about it...I am sure that is it. Before you all say something, I have not moved out b/c the kids need to be here..I want to be with my kids. He won't move out for maybe the same reason..don't know. Until the marital assets are divided, I can't go anywhere b/c I don't want to leave my kids. I have to suck this up. It's not the fact of him being with her, those two can have each other, it's the fact I am still in this house and he chooses to ignore my wishes. What a fucking set of brass balls. Has anyone had this same issue or have any real advice besides killing him. If I say something I will just start an argument and I have an ulcer the way it is. I have no place to go...no family or friends I could stay with so that is not an option. I don't know what to do anymore.

totallychaotic247 04/12/2010

Just big hugs for you, L. I don't have any advice for other than to make it absolutely clear to him that if he chooses to continue living there, he needs to keep the Ho out of your home. I know you have done that sweetie. I'm sorry he is such a douch. Love you. ((((((((((((((Llmt)))))))))))))

llmt 04/12/2010

Sorry..I was doing so well...but this just set me back about 20 steps. God damn, and I had such a great time with you all...oh found the camera. On the bottom of my black hole of a purse. Cleaned it out and found it..do I feel like an ass.

totallychaotic247 04/12/2010

Yay, so glad you found the camera! And please do NOT apologize for needing support. He is a douch to bring his homewrecker into the home she helped wreck. You need to have a good time, you need to get away from the stress he creates for you, you should not have to worry tat he brings her into your home while you do.

deleted_user 04/12/2010

So glad you found the camera! :) I can't believe he had her over to the house. What an ass. ((((((((LLMT)))))))))))

patti22 04/12/2010

I wouldn't say anything. There's nothing that you can do about it. Like it or not (and I'd HATE it), he can have her over if he wants. It's not wise, or nice, or anything else...but he can do it.

Hugs.

deleted_user 04/12/2010

Sorry that you have to go through this. It's so frustrating just as you think you're moving forward and than have to deal with this that makes you take a few steps back understandably so. I have no advice...just support and couldn't agree more...NO RESPECT for you, the kids and even himself. So sorry.

ChiTownBear 04/12/2010

so not cool!! It stinks that you feel you can't go anywhere cus of the lack of respect for you, the kids and house.

I hope for a resolution for you and the kids soon so you can live in peace.

*bear hug*

Ps. so glad you found your camera.

deleted_user 04/12/2010

"it's the fact I am still in this house and he chooses to ignore my wishes"

Reality: He doesn't have to respect your wishes. You do not have to respect his wishes.

He is living the life of a separated individual. You should too.

llmt 04/12/2010

Soon...I hate to say it but you are right, I just wish he would do it somewhere else. If he want to be separated and he chose this why not just leave like I asked him to and give me some peace for once. He wants her yet still choses to come back to our home. It's like pushing in my face gives him some thrill. Go live with her..she has her house. I don't bring anyone else to our house male or female friend or otherwise for the respect of my kids and him...I asked him out of if nothing else just for kids (and me) to not do it. Then he has the nerve to say to me he hates to see me so upset and what he has done to me. CSoon, tell me if I am wrong. My home is a place of neutrality for me and the boys and what he choses to do outside my home, I don't care. I just want to keep it that because it's all I have left.

deleted_user 04/12/2010

You are right llmt, it should be your safe zone.... and should be respected by each.

((((((llmt))))))

runnerkate 04/12/2010

First, Hugs to you for being so nice to him... I would have beat the living shit out of him for crossing that boundary! Yes... I would speak up... but make it very matter-of-fact... in other words- try and be as unemotional as possible. Lay it out, your expectations until you two are totally separated. He may not follow through, but you will know you spoke up for yourself. I wish you the best....you are doing all the right things for yourself. Hugs go to you! Kate

deleted_user 04/12/2010

Sorry Cookie...There is no "neutrality" in this war. The marital home is not Switzerland, it's the front line. His disrespect of you and your family has been consistent thus far. Know your enemy, re/act accordingly ....and put your armor on. (((((llmt)))))).

llmt 04/12/2010

RedR...very true..have to get back in that mindset. I let my guard down and I just get stomped on. Will try Sarge...will try.

deleted_user 04/12/2010

I'm sorry L. I don't have any advice either, but I understand how upsetting this is for you.

lycesq 04/12/2010

I agree - his bringing the GF into your home is just plain wrong. I'm sorry that you had to come back to this after a great time at the meet-up. Youve made it clear that you have no other options so I really don't have any advice, just a big hug for you!

Lynne

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